A Lesson Learned

Last Day

2010-06-17T17:58:00.001-07:00

of school for the school I’ve been working at. I am relieved, but in a different way than I have the past few summers. I had a great year, and although the education system is not perfect, my passion and need to be a part of it has been renewed. Working with students in small groups, teaching English learners one on one, and not bringing home mountains of papers to grade has been a positive step in my growth as an educator. I just hope that I can grab a job for next year.

The Wetness!!

2010-05-26T21:31:00.001-07:00

Its only been about 8 months since I moved here but I already feel like i have 15 different names for the northwest rain. The glass-half-full side of me sees this wet spring as a pathway to a late summer, but who knows?

I can't make a blanket statement and say I am tired of the rain. Some days in Portland are just gray. Gray as far as the eye can see. And that low wet gray can just feel oppressive, especially when the rain sprinkles its way in the whole time. It just makes it hard to want to go outside.

Then there are days like today, when periods of absolute downpour give way to brilliant sun-shows over the west hills, and the clouds feel as if they are giving off the same brilliant alpenglow I dream about when I think about the Chugach in Alaska, their golden color lights up the entire Willamette Valley. Mt. Hood pokes its way through and then a dark cloud rolls in and it starts to pour again as if the sun had never been here at all.

Some days the air just feels like fog. The mist thickens as you breathe and wraps around you. It doesn't feel like its raining until you realize that after 10 minutes you are soaking wet.

I've learned a new term in my time here, everyone from Portland and the PNW knows what a sunbreak is. The wetness that moves through the northwest can dump hour after hour and then all the sudden, the sun gleams through the clouds, and its warm. People poke their heads out of their houses like rodents poking out of the ground. The sun makes even the most reserved person want to get outside and dance, it is a gift after days of rain, it can dry the pavement in minutes. But usually the rain comes again.

Some of the rain feels like Central American rain, warm and humid--steamy like the rain forests in Panama. Some is bone-chilling, its colder than snow. It makes the body melt into itself.

The same rain can be stunningly beautiful and depressingly glum.

Tom Robbins says:

(the northwest) is the world headquarters of drizzle, and in autumn it leaves a damp gray rash on everything, as though the city were a baby that had been left to long in a wet diaper and then rolled in a newspaper.

Got Muddy Waters on in the background (perfect for the rain)

Crossing Wires

2010-05-22T12:02:00.001-07:00

Hello dear followers.

Daren here, just letting all of you know that I am currently experimenting with some different blogging platforms (different blog websites). I tried Twitter for a little while at the moniker of redmorningdirt. There is something poetic about only allowing a certain number of words in each post, but there is also something constricting about it. So I haven't used it much.

So recently I opened an account with Tumblr to see if I can be more active with my posts. Tumblr is a place to blog but it allows for short posts, and I can easily include pictures, music, and links to articles and other sites. I think that I will be more active if I use it. So I will continue to update posts here, but I will more frequently post on Tumblr on my site www.darenzook.tumblr.com its called Swallowing China. The links also show up on facebook.

Tell me what you think. I haven't figured out how to link emails to tumblr yet, but I believe that will come soon.

If this all sounds like internet jargon to you, it may be. :)

Enjoy your Saturday.

Daren

The only place a man can go

2010-03-31T18:06:00.001-07:00

There is a scene in Be Here to Love Me where Townes Van Zandt is sitting around playing the first song he ever wrote. Its called “Waitin around to die.” The camera pans out and focuses on a older black man in the background who is gently crying. You could see the years in the mans face, and the pain he had dealt with. It was as if Townes wrote the song for him. It was at that moment that I realized how powerful that song was.

I’ve been playing a few Townes songs over the last couple years. Specifically, “Pancho and Lefty.” Its a song I was taught around the campfire in Alaska and its a song that will always remain special to me. At that time I only knew that Van Zandt was an important songwriter, I didn't then completely understand his legacy.

After watching this film, I am deeply and emotionally effected by Townes; not only his music, but who he was as a person and what he had to deal with. According to the film he dealt with mental illness, serious family issues, and an affliction with drugs, alcohol, and songwriting.

He was someone from a long list of artists who I believe wasnt made for this world. Over the last few days, I have been singing his sings and each time I sing them, I feel like I understand them a little bit more. His way with words is simple yet gently affecting.

He does not have a perfect voice, nor should he. But his songwriting power is immense. Many of his songs have been covered by other artists, but here are a few originals to listen to:

Rear View Mirror - Townes Van ...

I recommend To live is to Fly, Pancho and Lefty, If I needed you, and

Colorado Girl. You should also check out the documentary about him, even if you aren't already a fan.

Obsessions—Music is Art

2010-02-10T18:20:00.001-08:00

If you know me at all you would know that I have a bit of an obsession with music. In fact, music is most likely the reason I live where I live, I studied what I studied, and I teach what I teach.

The reality is that I spend far too much time scouring the web and the local weekly papers for great music. There is so much amazing music available to us, and I, as a true American, have felt the need to own the good stuff. If you saw my external hard drive’s music selection, you would either be impressed or disgusted.

A little piece of me thinks that the ownership part of it all is a little bit overwhelming. The reality is that just about any music that has been recorded in the last 60 years can be heard for free on the internet in a number of different places. And if I really want to experience music in its purest form I should go see it live. I do, but I also love to collect it.

I thought I would share some music that I have been listening to lately. I will link all of the songs so that you can listen to these artists and possibly buy the music for yourself.

I chose to write about this because I truly believe that music is a high art, if not the highest of art forms. Last night I went to a local record store, Music Millennium and listened to Laura Gibson give a beautiful in-store performance. She was performing with Ethan Rose who I hadn't heard of and I was sufficiently blown away. Her first album was touted by Sufjan Stevens and included some beautiful melodies and folk style songs.

The music she performed was closer to Avant Garde art than it was to folk. Her and Ethan used a computer, a uke, an electric guitar, and a keyboard to create some ethereal sounds that I never would have expected. At the end Ethan played the electric guitar with a violin bow and they looped vocals together to create an incredible mishmash of sounds.

It was extremely interesting and titillating music. It reminded me that Music is art and that much of today’s “indie rock” is pushing the boundaries of what music truly is. Here is the entire album, I recommend putting on some tea and listening carefully.

Bridge Carols - Laura Gibson &...

Another album that just came out that I am really excieted about that I recently had a chance to listen to was Spoon’s new album, Transference. I listened to an interview with them and am excited to expierience this album. Some of it was recorded in Portland in one of the band member’s basements. I really like the first song. It is withheld and distant, yet you can feel the rest of the album barreling behind it.

Before Destruction - Spoon

I just finished listening to The David Rawlings Machine on NPR music. They recorded a tiny desk concert that I think deserves a listen. David Rawlings is Gillian Welch’s musical collaborator. They worked together on this album. The harmony that both of their voices create sounds like it is from another time.

Here is the tiny desk concert

and at Daytrotter.com you can listen to them do a cover of Neil Young’s Cortez the killer, that would make Neil jealous.

I also went to an album leaf concert last Friday and was impressed with the opening band seawolf. They put on a great live show although their album leaves something to be desired.

The Album Leaf was good, but not hugely exciting for a live show.

Now you know what I’ve been listening to, do you have any recommendations or comments? Please let me know.

Pieces of Who We Are—II Meghan

2010-02-08T16:29:00.001-08:00

I guess I didn't make it totally clear in the first post that this would be a series. I may post a few people at a time, but they will be spread out over a few weeks. I also really want to get some more input from others. Please email me or comment with your passions and or things that you truly enjoy doing.

…..

Last summer, Meghan and I went on a little road trip to visit the Northwest and decide whether Portland was going to work as our new home. Along the way I came up with a plan to meet and interview people who we met in different places.

In our searches for new jobs and a new way to live in an economic crisis, I wanted to see what makes people tick, and really where their passions lie.

The plan didn't materialize quite as well as I thought it might, mainly because there just wasn't enough time to stop in little towns along the way and talk to people. Also as an interviewer, one must develop a certain amount of trust with the interviewee, especially when discussing something as intimate and private as “passion.”

Even though it didn't work exactly as I would have hoped, I did start the project with a few friends and family members. I plan to interview more people over the next few months and encourage my readers to explore their passions and possibly send them my way.

…..

Here are a few responses from people I talked to:

Meghan is my dear partner and girlfriend who has been with me through the last 7 years. Both of us came to Portland under somewhat dire circumstances. And both of us have struggled within this new economy that we are all living in.

Meghan has an amazing amount of patience and because of this patience she has supported me during our transition and recently taken on a new job with Metropolitan Family Services.

In college, she was on the pathway to become an English teacher, but after watching me go through the credential program and being involved in the education system herself, she realized that teaching wouldn't fulfill her professional needs. She felt as if the education system doesn't leave any room for one on one relationships between adults and students, and it is too focused on a specific outcome not a humanistic, holistic outcome.

She has since been involved in different community organizations, non-profits, and parks and recreation programs. She dives into work head first and does a great job at it. With the economy the way it is, we have seen non-profit organizations struggle, and she has been searching for a niche that fits her needs. We both hope that her new job is able to fill that.

Her response was also in the form of a list:

Down Vests/ Hot Showers/ Making things with my hands/ Green Tea/ Collages/ Cupcakes/ laughing with my mom/ Buying journals/ Sitting in the Sun/ Fresh Flowers/ Farmer’s Markets/ The “perfect bite” / My boyfriend on his good days/ Fountain Pepsi/ Walking on West Cliff Drive (Santa Cruz) Petting Dogs/ Yoga/ My Favorite Music/

Natural Born Lover - Sharon Jo...

Pieces of who we are- I

2010-02-03T15:15:00.001-08:00

In our searches for new jobs and a new way to live in an economic crisis, I wanted to see what makes people tick, and really where their passions lie.

Here are a few responses from people I talked to:

…

Vanessa

Vanessa is a close friend that I went through the teaching credential program with. She is an excellent high school English teacher, who has over the last four years of teaching made an incredible impact on her students but also questioned her place within the education system.

She had a difficult time thinking about what exactly it was that made her happy, but she was able to come up with some specific things that she truly enjoys. And when she asked me the same question, I realized that it isn't easy to respond to. Her response was in the form of a list:

Morning Espressos

Jumbles

Topography

Friendship

Farmer’s Markets

Yellow Sequined dresses

Non-Fiction

Holding my breath

NPR

Swimming

Holding Hands

Michelinis

Memoirs of a Sweet Vidalia Onion

2010-02-01T18:57:00.001-08:00

The mid-August Central Valley heat beat down on my empty windshield and all I could do was look ahead at the muddled pavement that directed my journey.

When I am cut, I make people cry; the layers of my life build upon each other like an unfortunate romantic novel being read in the summer. All around me I am buried between others who are exactly the same but I feel so alone and so different.

“Welcome to the real word,” bluntly repeated by my riding partner. The words rang in my ears

This could be the last day that I am able to sit with my vegetable brethren from here on out.

Looking at that open door all I can do is shuffle in discomfort. With movement I see three or four of my friends bound listlessly from the sedentary pile. They scream with glee.

I don’t think my escape will be quite as gratifying

-I Found this in an old notebook, thought it was interesting

picture credit (http://www.hungryagain.net)

Disaster reading

2010-01-17T11:40:00.001-08:00

As if you needed to read more about it.

He knew the conditions had begun to take a very real toll on his psyche…he had to watch, helpless, knowing how depraved it was---this was punishment…it diminished the humanity of them all. (Eggers 246)

I recently completed the book, Zeitoun by Dave Eggers and have been reading it throughout this week. The book reads like a work of great fiction, but is a work of non-fiction that tells the story of a Syrian-American who lives in New Orleans through the hurricane. Although the book is written beautifully and is completely engrossing, its reality was sometimes difficult to swallow, especially with the disaster that struck Haiti this week. There were far too many parallels, but because of this timing, I think the reality of disaster has been very alive in my thoughts.

In typically brilliant fashion, Dave Eggers brings the story of a Katrina survivor to the general public. He tells the story of a man who tries desperately to deal with the disaster by saving other people’s lives with an aluminum canoe and who is eventually arrested and trapped in the disparaging world of post-9/11 Homeland Security profiling and degeneration because of his background and beliefs.

Abdulramen Zeitoun, the main character says these simple but profound words about recovery : Every person is stronger now. Every person who was forgotten by God of country is now louder, more defiant. They existed before and they exist again. (Eggers 334) truly illuminating thoughts after disaster.

Eggers is careful to tell only this man’s story and clarify that it is only one account from the many and it is not a general history of Katrina. Although Timothy Egan from The New York Times Book Review said this about the book:

Fifty years from now, when people want to know what happened to this once-great city during a shameful episode of our history, they will still be talking about a family named Zeitoun.

I highly recommend the book and Eggers’ other narrative non fiction, What is the What.

…

That brings me to Haiti. I know that New Orleans was a great debacle in our nations history, and I fear for the recovery from the earthquake in Haiti. I did not know that so much energy and funding in New Orleans went to the building of temporary prisons and the capture of innocent persons. After reading this book, I want desperately to help the people of Haiti, but I also want to make sure that my donations go to a place they can help and contribute to aid and not destruction. I encourage everyone to give what they can. Here are some reputable sources:

The American Red Cross –a reputable and well established group. Your money will go to volunteer food and medical support

Doctors Without Borders –an orginization dedicated to giving medical help to people in great need. They are performing open-air surgeries on card tables and could use all the support they can get.

Yele Haiti –Wyclef Jean’s relief organization. A general fund with direct impact.

Snippets of a restful, rejuvenating holiday

2010-01-05T20:56:00.001-08:00

Since I haven't had the opportunity to write in the last month or so I thought I would write a twitter style set of memories and moments that have passed through out the holidays:

…

Christmas brings up such elevated emotions for everyone. The day school got out I helped navigate a weep-fest of 5th graders who decided that they wanted to talk about people in their lives who had died.
…
A little Somalian boy in one of my classes spent about 5 minutes touching my beard and telling me about his dad who he hadn't seen in years.

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I was hired as a ski instructor at mt hood meadows.

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California winter days brought some quiet winter sunshine. It was something that I didn't even realize that I missed until I felt it come through the window.

…

Christmas was less chaotic than usual, but it still had its scheduling difficulties, it is damn hard to organize 4 different families with ample time.

…

After Christmas, we went to Point Reyes and watched the incredibly large waves and elephant seals. I forget how beautiful that state park is. It would be such a shame to have to close it.

…

Sara and I drove north to Portland together and got to enjoy each others company.

…

Its really strange to not have a teaching job and listen to my sisters stories as she begins her career.

…

I dealt with a little bit of homesickness because I didn't see all of my friends and my family time seemed cut short.

…

I actually missed Portland!

…

It snowed a good 3 or 4 inches in the city and it was beautifully quiet, aside from the screeched of cars that couldn't make it up the hill.

…

The new years brought fun and mayhem. We ate a 5 course Moroccan meal at Marrakesh and then went to the Kennedy school for some debauchery.

…

On New Years day we all wrote down things that we wanted to leave behind in 2009 and it brought up some pretty intense feelings.

…

I spent a lot of time trying to come up with a best of the year and decade list for my favorite music, movies and books but its taking longer than I thought. I plan on revealing it soon.

…

I hope the new year brings all of us joy, balance, peace, and a whole lot of love!

Say Hey (I Love You) - Michael...

1 Frozen tear..

2009-12-11T17:10:00.001-08:00

I know it sounds cheezy but its true. Today I rode my bike to school and arrived to find that one of my tears (that come because the air is so cold) had frozen on my face. Its that Cold!!!!. The weather has been clear and beautiful here but so cold. The high every day has been around 35 and the lows have wavered around 5-12 degrees. But I have committed to riding my bike as much as possible, so frozen tear be damned! I can handle it.

I don't believe that I have ever lived in a place this cold, although I know the whole nation is pretty cold right now.

This is a picture collage I just learned to make. expect more.

…

This entry is actually meant to be about a topic that is hot on the public forum here in Portland and other big cities as well: Gentrification.

Its an interesting concept that defines the process of socio-cultural change in an area that is usually urban. It is usually fueled by rising housing prices and services that cause lower income folks to have to move. My friend Jeff asked me if it just had to do with whites pushing black people out, and its not that simple, but usually it has to do with a minority group being forced to move out of an area because a dominant, more affluent group has moved in. What it creates is a division or economical segregation in a community.

Its something that is happening in Portland and in San Francisco and I find it very interesting and actually difficult to have a strong opinion about.

As I have mentioned, Portland is made up of these wonderful little communities and neighborhoods, but what makes these communities great is the art, the coffee, the shops, the restaurants, and of course the people. but when all of these great, expensive, amenities move in, people are forced to move out. And the cultural makeup of the neighborhood changes.

As much as I love these neighborhoods and believe that some of the communities are safer and possibly more accessible because of the development, they are scaring and changing the urban population of Portland. All of us wonderful art-loving, coffee drinking, liberal, white people are pushing others out. And diversity in places like Portland and San Francisco is changing.

I am still learning about what all this means, but when I watched one of my favorite Hispanic, poor, students leave the school for a cheaper neighborhood east of Portland, I was affected. Myself, a privileged, educated person has inadvertently pushed this little student out of the urban portion of Portland. Should I feel bad? I don't know. Should I be aware? Yes absolutely. Should cities remain the way they always have been? probably not. But cultural diversity makes this city and this country beautiful.

listening to

All The Way Down - The Swell S...

Rainy Day Commute

2009-11-13T08:36:00.001-08:00

This is what I've been waiting for....sort of. BTW thats not me in the picture...dont have any rain pictures yet.

For the second time this week I commuted to work (Sub Job) on my bike. As always, i absolutely loved it. Although today was a little different, it was raining. So I rode anyway, and passed lots of others who were doing the same thing.

I love using my bike as transportation. You've probably read prior entries that boast about its health benefits; both physical and mental, but its also an incredibly visceral experience. When riding, the wind (and rain) is in your face, you have to think about the cars and the lights around you, and your getting a workout. Now I have no problem with driving in a warm car once in awhile with good tunes playing on the radio, but riding does something for me that nothing else can.

There are a few problems though: I dont have all of the rain gear I need, my shorts and shoes are drying in the staff bathroom, My bike was made for racing, not commuting in the rain, so its forks are gettting clogged with leaves and dirt, and I dont have rain gutters to keep the rain from shooting in my face, which really just adds to the visceral expierience. I am realizing that all of these things are quite essential if I choose to continue this form of recreation.

To keep everyone posted on the job situation, I have accepted a part time aide job at a elementary/middle school and I will continue to substitute teach until something else comes up. Meghan just had three interviews this week for some great jobs and we're keeping our fingers crossed.

Listening to the Portland rain on the windowsill: that will probably be a pretty common sound through the winter.

New Trails.. and Re-newed shelves

2009-11-08T20:38:00.001-08:00

Downtown P town after a little rain

From building shelves

I wanted to post some fun pictures I took this weekend, now that I think my camera is working correctly again. This last weekend was a lot of fun. We went out with Rick, Shannon, Vanessa, and Jackie. After a few beers we hit some food carts that sold Putine-- a French Canadian after-bar delicacy that I haven't had since being in Montreal. Its french fries, cheese curds and gravy--very healthy I'm sure. It was not quite as good as the authentic food, but it was damn good.

From building shelves

Meghan Rick and Shannon

From building shelves

Jackie Vannessa and Daren.

Saturday was the first real downpour that we've had to deal with here and it rained and rained hard. But I had to get outside. I grabbed the mountain bike and went out to get soaked. It was reassuring to know that I wasn't the only one. I think that people don't let rain get in the way of their plans here.

From building shelves

The other fun thing we did was build a set of shelves from old drawers. I found the idea in a magazine and we went to this warehouse on Mississippi ave that sells old building stuff to re-use. Jackie helped and we built some pretty nice shelves. If you want to know how exactly to make them email me. Here are some picture of the process.

From building shelves

It was a lot of fun and I think it turned out pretty good. Jackie also built a spice rack out of an old drawer:

From building shelves

Listening to remixed M. ward.

Amazing class--Strange Situation

2009-11-04T08:16:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting in Mr. Franzen's class working on my substitute skills. If it were more consistent, it would be a great job: good pay, no papers to grade, no classes to plan, etc. unfortunately I haven't gotten as much work as I'd like; although my name is getting out there with the English teacher crowd.

I am dumbfounded by the current class I am in. Its a communications class that the teacher has turned into a music cooperative. They do everything from develop band logos, create websites, write and record music, and at the end of the year each band will perform at a local venue. Its all supported by the teacher and a local record producer (The guy who produced the Decemberist's latest). All I have to say is WOW! What an amazing idea. What a way to teach kids communication and marketing, while totally engaging them. After last weeks sub job at a middle school, this invigorates me. Their website is Arthouseeducation.org.

Quick little story that encapsulates the outskirts of liberal Portland:
I was leaving a sub job of three days as a PE teacher at a middle school that was once a suburban, predominantly caucasion school and is now becoming more integrated and diverse due to the economy and the gentrification of Portland. I think that the teachers don't really know what to do.

So this woman says to me, "Before you go, tell me one thing."
I responded politely, "sure"
"Who are the worst kids to work with?"
"I'm not sure what you mean." I said truly not understanding.
"Which group, which race i mean."
"I'm sorry, I think all kids have their ups and downs and I'm not about to pick one out based on race."
she then interjected, "Its the black kids huh?"
I was stunned and did'nt quite know how to react. "I don't agree with you.."
"They're just disrespectful arent they? Don't make up excuses, you know its true."
I looked off and wanted to respond respectfully but didnt know what to say. I pretty much disagreed one more time and left. I don't tell this story to paint myself as this perfect politically correct teacher in a world of racism and disenfrachizement. I just want to put it out there to show that there are still people out there who really think that way.

I probably should have said more, but I was on my best behavior. What would you have said?

I am enjoying subbing but am interviewing for some other jobs, including an ESL job at an Elementery school. Wish me luck and I will keep this updated a little more regularly.

Listening to: the murmur of an English teacher on the other side of the wall.

The Colors of Fall…..here in PORTLAND

2009-10-25T10:15:00.001-07:00

Let me give you some context for this piece:

Daren says “I want you to be a special guest on my blog.”

“Your special guest? What do you mean?” said Meghan

“I have changed the theme of the blog to our transition into Portland and I want you to write about your experience with the transition.” said Daren slyly knowing Meghan’s fear of people reading her writing.

“Well that is a pretty broad topic. And I don’t want it to be like writing in my diary! Could you give me a more specific topic to start with?” Meghan said teasing him.

Daren was surprised and said each word jokingly frustrated and channeling his teacher tone of voice “The Colors of Fall…..here in PORTLAND.”

“Oh…….hmmmmm……… okay. I could do that.” She said satisfied.

So ladies and gentleman, my first piece for A Lesson Learned:

The leaves are turning and falling to the ground, making the streets of Portland glittered with gold, vibrant red, and breathtaking oranges. I told a friend of mine that I feel like I am living in a nature calendar (specifically the one my Uncle gives everyone for Christmas). When growing up I was always in awe of the months October and November, and I even remember a trip my mom and I took where we were “Chasing Fall”. It’s hard to find Fall in California, besides just the wrinkled brittle leaves that fall into pieces and clog the gutters of the streets. Here in Portland Fall smacks you in the face, and distracts you from everything else happening the grey skies, fits of rain, an evil notes from your neighbor that you have taken their “assigned” parking space and are going to tow you. Let’s just say for know I see Portland as a delicious plethora of colors that satisfy my inspiration palate. I want to create anything with the fall colors! I can’t get them out of my mind!

Of course it is hard being away from home. I miss my family and friends and my Teen Center. I have been on a little bit of a rollercoaster of emotion: one minute I am filled with excitement over what is coming up and then I am screaming as I plunge down into the reality that we have moved here and don’t have jobs, and only a few friends. And then I am coasting, with out a care in the world, feeling safe and calm that we have made the right choice. I don’t mind the rollercoaster but it can be exhausting. I am always going to miss home, no matter where I am, but I still have to go and see and do, before it is too late and I can’t. My main reason for moving was yes the job situation, the cheaper cost of living, the awesomeness of Portland, but also I never want a moment later in life where I am haunted with the words “What If?”

So, here I am trying out the Northwest. There is so much to do here it is a little overwhelming. There are: so many places to see music, good music, and SO MANY GOOD RESTURANTS (some of you may not know I am little bit of a foodie), and the coolest movie theaters, with $3 movies where you can bring in beer and pizza to the theater and the most outstanding bookstore I have ever seen! The crafting community is amazing here and I’m excited to take my place in it. I see possibility here, even if things look a little dire on the job front. Which, I can’t even say that. Daren has had a sub job everyday this week and have a big ol’ list of jobs to apply to. At this point in my transition to Portland I feel: hopeful, excited and strangely…… comfortable. Even without a couch! Ha ha! Hopefully we will find one this weekend.

Listening to: The symphony of rain on my front windows, and a little Be Good Tanyas in the background.

Why you ask? Well let Me tell you:

2009-10-17T21:36:00.001-07:00

Over the last few weeks a lot of people have asked me why Meghan and I chose to move to Oregon. It has, of course, made me reflect but also put me a little bit on the defensive, so here goes my manifesto:

The job market in Santa Cruz has not been very lucrative for educational jobs or any other jobs for that matter. There are industries that are growing in that county, but most of the jobs come from either farming or UCSC, and there aren't enough. It may be a sign of the times, but Meghan and I were not having much luck.

We did a serious analysis of some Bay Area communities compared to Portland and looked to see what the cost of living was and what kind of community we wanted to live in. Many of the Bay Area communities were prohibitive because of rent prices and our parents places were less-than-appetizing. (Don't take offense to that mom and dad, you know how it goes)

We found, through the job boards that there was a lot of opportunity in education (my field) and in parks and rec and non-profits (Meg’s field). So after some call backs, but much difficulty trying to get a job from a city 11 hours away, we decided we’d move up and see if our luck improved. I was put on a few substitute lists and would hopefully be able to use that to get involved in the local school districts and have some transitional work.

Meghan and I both decided that our energy would be much better spent paying less rent in the place that we wanted to work and live rather than paying an arm and a leg in place that couldn't support our careers.

Aside from all of that Meghan and I have been flirting with Portland over the last few years. We have some good friends here who have shown us what an amazing city it is. Portland has the lowest cost of living than any other city on the west coast and for that reason it draws creative types like us. It has a vibrant and non-traditional art scene. The music scene in Portland is the envy of much of the US. It is one of the most well-educated and well-read cities in the country, along with that is the amazing Powell’s city of books. It promotes bike usage as a main source of transportation along with public transit; it is possible to be car-less here. The mountains and forest surround the city on all sides. Although it lacks some of the Bay Area’s Diversity, it is decidedly a progressive city that encourages thinking and conscious growth. It is a city, but it is not as gigantic as some of the other cities in the west (pop. 550,000), along with the downtown, it is a city of neighborhoods and (we hope) community.

We are young and idealistic and feel like Portland is great match for us both. In times like these, sometimes we must go out on a limb to succeed and I hope that both of us are able to do that here among our creative, left-wing brethren. I realize that this transition will not be easy, as people in all states in all cities are dealing with the recession and its repercussions. There is also the difficulty in changing locales. We must deal with social changes, geographical changes, and weather changes (read R-A-I-N). With all of these things hopefully moving in our favor, we hope that Portland allows us to grow and individuals, and as a couple. We hope that we are able to overcome some of the inescapable difficulties that a recession brings. We also hope that friends and family of whom we hold so dearly are able to take the time to come visit us (we have a second bedroom) and help us to explore this new realm. We also hope you continue to read our blog and share our experience of transitioning to a new city, a new state, and a new life(sort of).

Listening to: some lame new-agey music on the local radio station

Moving to a New Land

2009-10-17T14:20:00.001-07:00

Being that it was much more difficult than I thought to leave so many family and friends in the San Francisco bay area and the Monterey bay area, I thought that it might be fun to document our transition from Santa Cruz to Portland through a blog. It will be a good way for me to reflect on all of the changes that happen and it will be good for people who are close to us to see what we’re up to.

I am still trying to decide if the blog will have a separate address or if I will just use the platform of Lesson Learned. I will try my best to get Meghan to post a few guest entries as well. We’ll see how that goes.

I think Ill start with the present and work my way backwards. There is a ton of great entertainment here, but being that we are not in the most ideal financial situation, we will have to choose wisely. Today I picked up the Willamette Weekly to see what was going on tonight. I was surprised to see that a band made up of a few of my favorite musicians was playing downtown. The band is Monsters of Folk. Unfortunately we would not be able to both go due to the price. So we looked a little deeper in the weekly rag and found out that Michael Chabon was reading at Powell’s books.

Chabon has written a number of books and stories that I have just loved. He wrote The Adventures of Kavalier and Clay about a Jewish refugee living in New York, The mysteries of Pittsburgh, Wonder Boys, and well the list just goes on and on.

He was great. His first story was about the difficulty men have carrying wallets, phones, keys, etc. in their pockets, yet carrying a bag robs them of their manhood. Although it was focused on the infamous “murse,” it was really an essay about the societal pressures of being a man in a society where masculinity is changing, but only slightly. We thoroughly enjoyed it and hope to enjoy more from Powell’s.

…

Prior to our night of entertainment, we’ve really just been adjusting to the move-in and the change that is the Pacific Northwest. We drove our moving truck over a number of mountains and it took longer than we thought. Then we arrived and had a hard time remembering what our apartment even looked like. As it turns out we have a spacious apartment with two bedrooms, room-specific heating, and stylish 70’s brown carpeting.

We haven't really met any neighbors, but our immediate neighbor looked a little scary. She came out in her bathrobe in the middle of the day to yell at another neighbor.

It seems that very few people in the complex have cars, probably because they walk everywhere. We hope to meet them soon. With the weather as cold as it has been, a BBQ is sort of out of the question. Maybe we’ll host a pot luck, or maybe we just wont meet them.

Moving to a new city is always a bit of a social challenge.

Listening to Bela Fleck Beethoven's 9th symphony

Sunrise over an empty ocean-

2009-10-01T10:45:00.001-07:00

Fall in Santa Cruz

Early in the morning, when all is quiet on West Cliff Drive, and all one can hear is the lapping of un surfable waves on cliffs is when I feel most at peace.

This morning was absolutely gorgeous. The air was cool from fall slow resurgence on the central coast. But the sun was shining and slowly warming me and all of the early morning revelers. I went to check the surf, and although it was unrideable, the morning was brilliant. I will miss the way the fall and winter bring a magical ocean to my backyard.

There is nothing quite like breathing in the ocean air just after sunrise.

The Search

2009-09-23T21:30:00.001-07:00

Here I am, back in Portland and this time its for real. Meghan and I have decided to move here and we are looking for housing. In about two and a half weeks we will really be moving here.

Over the last few weeks I was surprised at the kinds of reactions that I received from friends. Many of them have been completely supportive of the transition, but they are also sad to see us leave. Then there are some who cant figure out why we are leaving. Its in times like these that I realize that we all do have an immense impact on each others lives, and that by leaving some of our friends and families lives will be impacted. Its good to know that there are people out there who care so much about us.

I have many explanations as to why we are leaving, but there are some very obvious ones. We are still in our youth, and along with the things that are making California harder to live in ( see below), we want to take life by its reigns and live it to its absolute fullest.

I read this article a few weeks and I thought it to be very interesting, it doesn't explain our situation specifically, but it name a number of very interesting perspectives on leaving.

Dear California, I'm dumping you

I’m not dumping California, I’m just moving to a place that is supportive of living the way I do, a place that has jobs, a place that has youth, and a place that has cheaper rent.

I have a list of things that I may or may not share. I must say that we are very excited about moving to anew city and making it a new home. The challenges will of course present themselves but the rewards will also make their way through.

Public Option (double political entry day)

2009-09-08T13:00:00.000-07:00

Moveon.org sent me this video and it tugged a few heart strings with me.

Its called “We cant afford to wait” and its a collaboration between REM and Moveon. I of course am highly influenced by music, so this really brought the current issue to the forefront for me. But I am also a newly uninsured American with my unemployment lurking over me.

As much as people believe that health care will be ruined if it is made public, and that it will cost everyone else more money in taxes, I believe that it will have its challenges, but the reality will be less b.s., and more accessible care. The current system is out of control, and I hope it changes, for the people in this video, and for my family an friends who cant afford health care…me included.

Lets work together to support this change.

Educational Propaganda

2009-09-08T11:33:00.001-07:00

With all of the Uproar around Obama’s speech. I was hoping for a little bit more edge on his topics. I thought he might quote Karl Marx or raise his fist in solidarity with the Black Panthers, but to no avail. He was appropriate, straightforward and had some basic unbiased points for all students.

I even think that some of his points veered away from what conservatives were hoping he would say. He re-iterated the American “pull ourselves up by our bootstraps” ideal, which to me, is a bit of a farce, but so be it, watch and think for yourself, write what you think in comments.

Lagunitas Hop Stoopid Ale

2009-08-18T21:32:00.001-07:00

Beer Style: American/ imperial IPA

Taste: extremely hoppy; slightly bitter

Aroma: sweet malt mixed with hops

Look: light brown

Alcohol percentage: 8% aba

This is my first beer review, which I hope to do on a weekly or bi-weekly basis. I will try to review a variety of different beers including commercial beers, my personal homebrewed beers, and friend’s homebrewed beers. If you know a beer I should try or brew beer yourself, please send it to me for a review.

I am a fan of big hop aroma and flavor in a beer, but I believe that some IPAs and double IPA’s go too far into the bitter category. This beer exists in a nice in-between realm. It is made with a hop extract, which according to the bottle is not something that is normally recommended in craft brew. It has a deep hop scent and a nice hop flavor, that doesn't quite match the aroma. I think it is an easy drinking beer for a 8% aba beer. After drinking a full 22 its bitterness becomes evident. The only other beer that I’ve had that has this strong of hops and flavor was a special release beer that I had at the Anderson Valley Beer festival, that Lagunitas tapped on limited release because they dry-hopped the keg and it was incredible.

I enjoyed this beer, and I enjoy many Lagunitas beers because of their hop content, their flavor and their individual mythology.

Grade: A-

Animal, Vegetable, Miracle, Delight.

2009-08-12T13:13:00.001-07:00

I just finished reading Barbara Kingsolver’s latest, Animal, Vegetable, Miracle.

I picked it up off of the library’s display shelves, thinking that I might get to it, being that I have been reading a lot lately about food and the environment, including The $64 tomato and The Omnivore’s Dilemma. As it turned out, I thoroughly enjoyed it. I ended up forcing my girlfriend Meghan to read it, and feeding off my friend Anne’s responses to it.

Its an easy read about Kingsolver and her families’ transition to a local diet based around an old family farm in Virginia. It discusses each of the trials and joys through a year of growing and raising their own food, and basing their diet on seasonal foods. Not only does it include her poetic prose about how wonderful it can be, but it also brings in two different perspectives, her husband and teen daughter. along with their points of views, the reader is treated to a set of recipes that follow the families’ year.

I felt that the book was informational, enjoyable, and easy to follow. I’m sure that it helped that I am currently procuring a garden and it discussed some of the things that I have come up against like too many squash to handle. To me it read like a softer and more positive perspective on the slow food movement and Michael Pollen’s Omnivores Dilemma .

I thought that the lifestyle they live is interesting and even attainable to us city folk, but it does have its pitfalls. In an economy like ours, even though we may want to focus on the environment and local organic agriculture, it is extremely difficult. There are many discussions about how to truly change the way food is consumed we need to make it accessible to all, including the poor and disadvantaged. The government’s food stamp program now works at farmer’s markets, but its difficult to justify a purchase of a small bag of vegetables you might get from a farmer’s market compared to the two bags you might acquire from a cheap supermarket. Growing food is also surprisingly easy, but its difficult to have enough land or sunlight to grow enough for a family of 4.

After reading this book, I have changed the way I look at food and will change my diet based on seasonal and local vegetables (that I can afford). But I think we need to continue to look for ways to bring these ideals to the mainstream lowest common denominator. With the way things are going, we will develop these things through need not want or personal philosophy

Listening to Boards Of Canada

Waltzing with Bashir

2009-08-10T13:41:00.001-07:00

Last night, I finally took the time to Waltz with Bashir. Its been sitting on my coffee table for a little over a week now. Meghan and I really wanted to watch it, but knew that it would be an intense viewing experience, so we waited for the right time. And after a oppressively hot day, that time came:

In the first few frames of this movie, we knew we were in for a treat. The opening scene was images of vicious dogs running amok on a town only to terrorize a man living in the upper story of an apartment building. I was of course trying to connect the metaphor of the dogs with the powers of War. It turned out to be a mans dream, a constructed recollection of the Lebanon War. The man was assigned to shoot dogs as they approached a village so that villagers wouldn't be aware of their entrance. One night he shot 28 dogs and each of them came to visit him in a dream.

The rest of the movie flowed in a similar manner, between documentary-style interviews and the seeming acid-induced memories of war. The use of Animation played an important part in the construction of the film. And its cut from animation to real shots at the end has a deafening effect.

Dreams, reality, PTSD, and memories all collided in peoples re-telling of their individual war stories, while the director/writer of the film tried to piece together his fractured memory of the Sabra and Shatilla Massacre, through other men’s recollections.

The Film brought up very real aspects of war, the kind of things that we don't often see or want to see in a war movie. It showed the weakness and fragility of the soldiers, it showed the incoherent destruction that war brings, and it really personified how PTSD works.

I was floored by the integration of the images and sounds of the film: Water and its symbolism ran throughout the film, guns took literal and figurative meaning as guitars, phalluses, and fragility. Music played an important part in the ebb and flow of the film: specifically a scene in which the soldiers are being hunted by a young boy with an RPG and a classical waltz plays and a dance that encapsulates the insanity of war and the title of the film.

From what little I do know about the conflicts that happen in Israel and Palestine, I entered this viewing experience with a critical eye. I didn't want an unfair view of what is happening, I believe that the film also has a very critical viewpoint.

I believe this is required viewing for anyone who wants a deeper understanding of what war is.

A Healthy Diversion from the job search pt 2

2009-08-07T11:29:00.000-07:00

a video of the big sur highway

I met Phil on the road in two different random places. I first ran into him as I was riding to the grocery store in Santa Cruz, and he inspired me to get on the road. I later passed him in San Simeon. He was a teacher traveling from Vancouver to Mexico, and had quite a story to tell, but the thing that stood out to me the most was this: I asked him what was the best part of his trip wondering which part of the coast was most stunning and he said, “All the wonderful people I’ve met.” And it clicked, that was the true reason I decided to go on this trip. He had dealt with loneliness, and a knee injury, but had overcome it and is probably in Mexico or on the border as I write.

David and Jacob

I also met David, and his son Jacob. They were a father son duo who, every year rode from SF to Pismo beach for a family get together. They were the most joyful people that I have met in a long time. David Told stories about traveling and giggled like a school boy. He was honestly interested in everyone’s story who was traveling through. And his son Jacob (I hope the name is right) is a Paramedic who volunteers for Rock medicine through the Haight-Ashberry free clinic. He insisted on going on a bike beer run and having a fire, being that this was their last night on the road. We drank, ate, and enjoyed each other’s company in Morro Bay. I stopped the daily poems on this day, to make room for conversation.

Suzanne and Christopher- Canadian cyclists going for the border- both teachers-one unemployed

The next day was hot and long. I rode through San Luis Obisbo and into Santa Barbara County. There were some monster hills and the heat was demeaning after all of the coastal cool weather. I passed and re-passed a training group from Santa Barbara who had a support vehicle, and didn’t even change their own tires. I camped alone in Gaviota State beach after riding about 93 miles. I definitely was able to tell the difference between central and southern California. There were bigger roads, more cars, and drier climates, and less trees. I slept well that night and rode the remaining 30 miles to my friend Christopher’s house in Santa Barbara.

Christopher was my neighbor in Humboldt County. I hadn’t seen him in a long time. It was a momentous reunion. He is a wonderful man. He showed me around his peaceful sanctuary of an apartment, and we sat and discussed life and politics with his female friend. We ate an amazing watermelon, cherry tomatoes, and some of the most amazing popcorn that I have ever had. (Christopher dressed it up with his brand of natural ingredients)

Later that night we shared songs on the guitar and a great six-pack of beer from the north coast brewing company. He and I have very similar taste in music as he is an avid Bob Dylan, Ray Lamontagne, White Buffalo, and Eddie Vedder fan.

Late that night my beautiful girlfriend, Meghan drove in from Santa Cruz. I decided to spend the weekend in Santa Barbara with her instead of continuing down the coast. We stayed up late and talked more about the past, the present, the state of education, the economy, and materialism that afflicts our society.

The next day the three of us walked endlessly around downtown Santa Barbara. We had an amazing meal in one of the local cafes, and walked along the wharf, the beach, the thrift stores, and up and down state street. Meghan and I saw the so-cal-ness that we hadn’t seen since we lived in San Diego. There were men driving bright red sports cars up and down the strip, overly processed people with Botox, silicone, and everything in between. But we loved the sunshine, the good company, and the incredible Spanish colonial architecture that makes Santa Barbara beautiful.

That night and the next day I spent exclusively with Meghan. We spent the morning in Santa Barbara and then trekked over the hills to the ine country of Santa Ynez Valley. We stopped in some small towns and tasted wine at two different wineries. We even visited the Danish town of Solvang and had ice cream.

We’ve tried to separate ourselves from the high-brow wine culture that we sometimes look down upon, but damn, was this wine good! It makes two buck chuck taste like kool-aid.
At the end of the weekend, as we were driving home, I think both of us felt at peace. The sun was setting, we had escaped the pressures and stresses that come with layoffs and unemployment. Returning to Santa Cruz felt good, but with the return comes reality: Get a job! Do something! Figure out your life! And with that our journey continues…

Wave music ebbs and flows with meditative churns of the bike
Friendship and connection forms tribes of cycle nomads
In the perfect clime of a Santa Barbara sunset
Love, community, health, beauty all become one

A healthy Diversion from the job search pt 1

2009-08-07T10:05:00.000-07:00

As you may or may not know, last week, I set out to ride about 300 miles more of the pacific coast that I didn't cover with my friend Perry last summer. It was a needed reprieve from the lackluster world of online job hunting.

I chose to break this entry into two pieces because of its length. Im hope you enjoy it albeit is a bit long, but it was a much needed reflection.

I set out in the afternoon on Monday without much preparation (not like me at all) and rode from Santa Cruz to Monterey. It was a difficult ride through headwinds and strawberry fields. It was gray and cold (here on the coast its foggy and cold when it's hot inland). Id didn’t see any other bikers and I highway one brought the smell of dead fish, pelican poop, and exhaust. The campground in Monterey is on a hill above town. Its a steep climb to end the ride on, but when I arrived, I was greeted with a, "hooray, you made it."

It came from a lovely traveling woman from Texas. I say traveling because her plight was a bit of a mystery to me. She was well-educated, in her 60s, a lively discussionist, and a self-proclaimed artist, yet she slept on a tarp with a sleeping bag, (cowgirl style as she called it). She gave me a bit of advice in the job search: decide on a passion and volunteer, live humbly and eventually you will get to do what you love.

the short poem i wrote for the day went like this:

Dark, breathless sun hides
wind, fog, loneliness haunt the skyline
Nightime brings laughter, cheer, beauty.

After chatting with her amongst others including a number of teachers, I went to bed and slept heavily preparing for my ride through Big Sur.

One of the things that drew me to this ride was the want to rider through the coastline around Big Sur. I grew up visiting this place with my family, and I have always wanted to experience what I think is the most beautiful expanse of road in the world on a bike. And it did not fail to inspire.

The road brought more fog, cold , and hills, but it was stunning. Everytime I stopped people talked to me to find out where I was going. I ate lunch by the Big Sur river, and had very little problems climbing the big hills through the day. I stopped at Kirk Creek campground and was very lucky to camp on the cliffs above the ocean. That night I hung out with some Australian cyclists, who had ridden all over the world. We bathed in the cool ocean, and discussed linguistics and world politics over dinner. That night I also met an artist couple who was travelling around the west coast on motorcycle, and I reconvened with a lovely Canadian couple who I kept running into throughout the trip. I think they were trying to ditch me, but just couldn’t.

The second poem went like this:

Jagged Cliffs haunt a solitary coastline

Riding like the wind through innumerable beauty

Moments of perfect silence on the Big Sur Highway

The next day was another incredible day. I left early so I was gifted with a completely empty highway for at least the first few hours of the trip. Then I rode into the sun and into the San Simeon area, where I was expecting a phonecall. I rode into Cambria for lunch and set up camp to get my phonecall. As soon as a I got comfortable and turned on my phone, I realized that Cambria was complete and total dead spot. I asked around and found out that I would have to ride 5 miles back to San Simeon, where Hearst runs the airwaves to get service. So I packed up and re-traced my ride to relax on the side of the highway just to get a phonecall from EDD. That night I made it to Morro Bay to be treated with some new friends who were continuing and finishing their rides.

Ever Been to Harmony, Ca?

Twitter Feeds from My Bike Trip

2009-08-07T09:58:00.001-07:00

Just in case you missed my posts here are my Twitter feeds from my bike trip from Santa Cruz to Santa Barbara:

The web address once again is www.twitter.com/redmorningdirt

Back home from a beautiful trip, feeling rejuvenated, but have a lot to clean. Oh yeah and I gotta get a job.6:52 PM Aug 3rd from web
In Santa Barbara- good friends, good times, good music- life is good.12:27 PM Aug 1st from txt
Serious day today about 90 miles just outside of santa barbara eating like a king tuna bean vegetable burritos campground gourmet!7:58 PM Jul 30th from txt
"CA will always remind me of smells: strawberries, eukalyptus, gas, and pine." canadian cyclist Suzanne11:03 AM Jul 30th from txt
People looking at me funny as I eat pb and bannana sandwich in slo11:01 AM Jul 30th from txt
A gentle Japanese man recounts stories of world travel and tacos round the fire.10:35 PM Jul 29th from txt
The quiet of big sur gave way to sunshine and pieces of chaos warm fire friend and beer end d3 perfectly10:32 PM Jul 29th from txt
D3 sitting on the side of the road on Cambria searching for cell service.2:02 PM Jul 29th from txt
D2 big sur jagged cliffs solitary coastline riding like the wind. Moments of perfect silence on hwy12:01 PM Jul 29th from txt
Drinking Coffee in Carmel, bitter delicious coffee. Is there anything better?8:55 AM Jul 28th from Twitterrific
sc to Monterey: dy 1 cold fog and annoying wind make pedaling hard through the strawberry fields. But Good people at the site mend days w ...9:27 PM Jul 27th from txt
Going on a bike tour to Santa Barbara or beyond. Hope it goes well.1:09 PM Jul 27th from txt

Solo Bike Tour

2009-07-27T13:07:00.000-07:00

Im going on another bike tour down the coast. I will write about it when I return, but I will update the Twitter feed:
www.twitter.com/redmorningdirt

el canyon de los reyes

2009-07-21T16:42:00.000-07:00

After four days of walking up kings canyon, I realized three things:

1) Its called Kings Canyon because its a Canyon, and if you want to get to the high peaks you better be ready to climb!

2) There is no human king that could be the namesake for this canyon, the beauty of this natural place is far more powerful than any human.

3) No matter how bad the economy is, nor how many wars are being fought, the outdoors will remain great in every sense of the word. If you ever feel like the state of the worlds affairs is bringing you down, go outside.

Last week, my longtime friend, Dom and I decided to take a backpack trip to Kings Canyon National Park. At the trailhead, we decided to attempt a 48 mile loop, not realizing how difficult it would be to climb 7000 feet and walk that far in only 3.5 days. So about halfway through the journey we abandoned the entire loop, and decided to enjoy the distance that we had gone.

overall we hiked about 40 miles and climbed 5000 feet. So it was nothing to scoff at. It was hot, and awe-inspiring. the granite walls of the canyon seemed to climb on forever.

We saw three rattlesnakes, one bear cub, and a number of deer, one who nearly ran into the tent in the middle of the night and scared us to death. We met a lot of people who were hiking much longer distances than us (the 211 mile John Muir Trail). We fished, we ate, we swam in the cool sierra waters, we wandered through the wilderness, we pondered life, and overall we escaped into a beautiful enveloping natural landscape.

here are a few more pictures of the trip:

the 10,000 feet dance!

a columbine at Dollar Lake

rattler #3

a refreshing King's river dip

food doesn't taste any better than this

not as tired as he looks

climbing through a granite meadow

after a discussion about politics and the economy

end of the trail.

ad for your viewing pleasure, a slideshow: probably not too appropriate.

Listening to Magnolia Electric Co.
Josephine

In the space between

2009-07-12T23:10:00.000-07:00

I havent been posting lately because either:

a: I havent been inspired
or
b: I havent taken the time (I've had the time)

A few notable things that I have done and thoughts I've had over the past few weeks:

I spent about 11 days in Colorado with Tim. It was beautiful, but hot and dry. I did a few hikes, and spent some good time with Tim, Jill, and Dan, Tims brother.
I went on 3 solid 50-60 mile bike rides through the santa cruz mountains. On each ride I did a minimum of 3000 ft elevation gain. I'm thinking about doing the Santa Cruz century ride, but it is 12,000 feet of climbing and thats a lot.
thought about training for a mini-triatholon, but need to be working a lot harder.
Spent some time on the Delta with my mom. We stayed on a sailboat. It felt like we could have been in the jungles of Panama. I kept looking for spears flying from the jungle, and alligators coming out of the water, but to no avail. It was perfect summer time-- reading, sunning, swimming, eating, perfect.
Went to a Tom Brousseau show at the Crepe place in Santa Cruz, and even though not many folks were there, him and his female friend completely electrified the small room.
I aquired and am trying to learn the 5 string banjo. Its not easy, but its not terribly hard.
I have applied to lots and lots of jobs and only heard from a few, the economic climate for teachers isnt looking too good.
I decided to try twitter, and have a feed called chasing trains, which I will probably be changing, if you have a good idea with a line from a song or something interesting let me know.
I want to start a music review/media response blog. I am wondering if I should just change this one around or start a new one. Any thoughts? I was trying to create a blog at the chasing trains url but its taken.
Have a heavily producing garden, and it is beautiful. I will post some pictures. We have heirloom brandywine tomatoes and a ton of squash producing now. I really love to garden.

Well I'm sure there is more, but you know, thats all that comes to mind, and I have to catch up with my thoughts before I can get really deep in future posts. I will post some random photographs soon. In the meantime follow my twitter:

http://twitter.com/redmorningdirt

Rocky Mountain High

2009-06-20T08:24:00.001-07:00

Just wanted to share some picture from my roadtrip with my friend Tim and his wife, Jill. Last Friday, I joined them on the drive from San Ramon to their new home in Colorado. We drove a U-Haul and a separate Car. We drove through Nevada, Utah, Wyoming, and eventually Colorado.

The Sky in Wyoming was stunningly beautiful. I reminded me of the sweeping shots of sky from the film "Brokeback Mountain." The Uhaul was fun to drive, but it was a slug getting up the mountains. As we drove into Colorado, the rockies seemes to jump out of the horizon. I knew I wanted to get into them as soon as possible. So a day or two later I took a hike up a mountain called south boulder peak.

The hike climbed about 4000 feet in about 3.5 miles, so it was a beast. When I got to the top, I took a nap and just took in the sights and sound of the front range.

When I hiked down, a thunderstorm drizzled overhead. I was stunned by the beauty of the wildflowers and aspens in the rain.

Tim, Jill and I went up to Estes park, in the rockies and of course had to taste the local microbrew. We then were treated to an elk viewing late in the afternoon. The next Day, Tim's brother, Dan joined us and we went to New Belgium Brewery in Fort Collins. It was a great place to taste beer and take in the local college crowd. We had a great time. Here are some shots from it all:

a few of the fourteeners

Our Elk friend

in front of the "green" New Belgium brewery

the taps a pourin'

Kinetic Sculpture Grand Championship

2009-05-28T21:30:00.000-07:00

From kinetic race

This guy reminds me that everyone has their own opinion in Arcata

In another weekend adventure, my buddy Tim, his brother Dan, and his uncle Greg changed our annual tradition to a trip to the World Championship Kinetic Sculpture Race in Arcata. Greg's friend Scott built a sculpture called "Dow Jones Wild Ride."

I guess I should explain the premise of this crazy race. The vehicle has to be human powered, it should be artistic (which ours was a not quite as extravagant as the others) and it has to work on the road, the sand dunes, the bay, the river, and mud.

From kinetic race

There are many highlights of the race including a parade at the beginning with performances, a death defying drop called: dead-mans drop, a mid race camp-out and bonfire, and a final parade down main street Ferndale. The awards arent typical of other races, the middle finisher gets an award, the first to break down gets an award, the team with the most spirit gets an award, etc., etc.

Its a lot of fun and it brings out the most interesting characters from all over Humboldt county and beyond.

Here is a slideshow of all of the shots:

Century club

2009-05-20T17:03:00.000-07:00

Last Weekend, I became a member of the "century club!" and if you think I'm talking about the one that includes drinking 100 shots of beer, you are mistaken. I rode my bike 100 miles in the blistering heat just to say that I had done it! I've ridden long distances over time, but never that far in one day.

A teaching colleague of mine has made it a life goal of hers to complete a century ride. She decided to coerce me into doing it with her, so I thought, why not? So we both signed up.

If you heard the whole story you might have thought I made a mistake by signing up for it or that I was going into it completely blind. Not the case!

I actually knew that it would be in the 90s to 100s where we were riding (Anderson, CA) I also knew that the climbing would add to approximately 7000 feet. And I was still into it. I may have set myself up for failure, but fail I did not!

I rode my ass off (literally) and it was kind of fun. There were little old rotary club ladies showering me with strawberries, misters, and applause as I completed each stage. I had to abandon my friend Cindy about half way through because the heat and the hills were killing her.

I finished around 5 and was told that my eyes looked like they were sunken into my head (look at the picture above) and I was bordering slight dehydration, but it was nothing a little spaghetti and 7up couldn't fix. the first time I tried to stand up my muscles contracted and told me I would have to lay down on the grass a little longer.

Overall I think I did a pretty good job, and I was proud of myself. Maybe this is the start of a new riding career. Who knows? LOOK OUT LANCE!!!!

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Now playing: Beirut - The Penalty

A Legacy

2009-04-26T19:18:00.000-07:00

I went to a funeral for a former student from Delta Charter today. I was preparing for the worst, but it was a strangely joyous occasion.

The family had us all hold hands and introduce ourselves to the people around us, and then share our stories of this student. They then asked that instead of giving flowers, we make a pact to do something positive and or kind for someone else in our lives, and to remember Michael when we do it. It seemed like a really peaceful and regenerative way of sharing this young man's spirit with our own personal lives.

What really was nice for me was to be surrounded by my old Delta community of teachers and students running up and hugging me and saying that they missed me. I met with one of my old advisees, his girlfriend, and through teary eyes, she thanked me for coming.

Its just amazing to see how a tragedy can bring people together. For me, it made me realize the power of the school community that I was in.

My dad said that teachers leave a legacy, without even knowing it. And I agree, I was amazed to see these students slowing growing up, giving speeches about their friend and doing good things for themselves.

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Now playing: Vetiver - Through the Front Door

Spring Break

2009-04-14T21:39:00.000-07:00

After returning back to school after a week off, all at once I feel: bombarded, at peace, happy, and fatalistic. I am excited/worried about the year ending and I am happy to see (most) of my students.

The end of my week was spent at Joshua Tree National Park with my sister. Something about Joshua tree keeps drawing me back. It is a magical, mystical, place, that doesn't seem to belong to our world. My sister and I camped, rock-climbed, hiked, met some interesting folks, and spent some important bonding time. It was rejuvenating.

We ending up camping next to and making friends with some interesting people who had decided to make a life-altering change after losing both of their jobs. They sold their house and everything they had to buy a camper and some gear. They are on a extended vacation because of the economy. I thought it was a really great idea. If they had stayed home to harp on their situation, they would have never been able to experience the beauty and wisdom that comes from traveling the American Southwest.

Their website is http://www.stepoutsideyourself.com/ we spent Easter morning with them eating a scrumptious shared breakfast under the dry desert sky. I think more and more people will be taking this path as the job situation worsens. I hope that, if anything it teaches us to look within ourselves and our communities for answers, not to the mega-corporations that employ us and then tear us apart. If people learn to back away from their money and technology and understand what sustenance requires, then we will all be able to grow through a new "depression." They were wonderful people and they inspired me to continue searching.

From Starred Photos

Today at school, I realized how wonderfully blessed I am to be able to travel during these short breaks. Many of my students haven't traveled farther then Salinas or San Jose. Their vacations are not about travel, they are about family and friends and helping out with family business. Maybe they have a lot to teach me too.

I will post more pictures after I edit them all.

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Now playing: Gillian Welch - Revelator
via FoxyTunes

The photos

2009-04-04T18:05:00.000-07:00

These pictures were supposed to accompany my last post. Oops.

Tulip Petals

2009-04-02T18:59:00.000-07:00

I was inspired by my friend Matt's blog for this post. I havent had a complete enough thought for an entire entry so I thought I would share some tidbits of my thoughts.

Even though Meghan hates the song, "The Book of Love" I think it is one of the most absolutely beautiful love songs ever written. Its recorded by The Magnetic Fields
Its simplicity and strangeness speaks to love like nothing else I've ever heard.

I love writing. I have been using the Freedom Writer's diary as a model for writing in my Advanced English class, and its bringing out so many incredible stories from all of the students, and interestingly it is also bringing out some great stories from me. I always write with the students to model what its like to write. There are a thousand stories that we carry with us and never really reflect upon.

This student walked in today and told me I get that book we're reading. I asked him what he meant. We are reading The Absolutely True Diary of a Part Time Indian by Sherman Alexie. He said, I know what poverty is. It sucks. Ive lived in a hotel room with 6 siblings. Ive had parents who are drug addicts, but love me more than anything. I told him thanks.

I started a garden. I don't know how it will do, but is such a peaceful thing to do with my time. I love watering seedlings and picking weeds. That may change as the growing season progresses.

I remember what my Grandfathers flannel shirt used to smell like. It was a mix of cigarette smoke and mountain. I often smell it on the breeze and think he might be checking in.

I don't tell people I love them enough.

Some of my students just got in trouble for something that I cant mention here. It doesn't scare me. It makes me want to care for them more, I feel sad that that's all they have. If they had a choice I don't think they would have chosen to be involved in it.

Gangs are unfortunately, a form of family.

The pictures here are some shots I took at home and in San Francisco.

Doing ok #2

2009-03-25T17:49:00.000-07:00

Doing ok

2009-03-25T17:47:00.000-07:00

I did realize that in my last entry I compared myself to roadkill. It may have been a bit harsh, I was just trying to be creative and artistic. So last weekend, Meghan commisisioned me to be a photographer for the teen center benefit concert. Here are some of the photos I took , enjoy.
Daren

Roadkill

2009-03-18T20:48:00.000-07:00

Every day when I drive to work (I unfortunately haven't been riding my bike lately for a number of excuses) I pass an amazing amount of dead animals. I pass everything from cats and dogs to raccoons and birds; I even encounter the occasional snake or rooster.

When I'm on my bike, I get a close-up view of some of these poor animals, but from my car I don't see much. But for the last few days I've been passing this large raccoon. He lays next to the median wall in a supine position and I swear his paws look as if they are in a praying position. The first time I saw it I didn't think much of it, but with each pass, I start to think more and more about it.

I've started to feel bad for the little guy, I wonder if anyone else sees him, and then I wonder if maybe he's some sort of sign I'm supposed to see. I don't really know.

...

So, last week I had a substitute, I took a Daren day. After a nice peaceful weekend, I returned to my classroom with some really nice little surprises. On my desk was a glowing note from the sub saying how great my plans were and how wonderful the kids were. I thought to myself, "Cool, class can go on without me."

I Then walked around the classroom and found some notes that were left for me. On about 8 desks someone had decided to use a sharpie marker and write f--- Zoo-. This was next to a barrage of a number of other homophobic and racist remarks. I walked out of the classroom to catch my breath and found an empty bottle of peppermint schnapps on my desk. So I grabbed it and showed it to my principal. He looked at it and kind of laughed, then handed me the graffiti remover with a joke and said he didn't do it.

As I cleaned the desks, I thought to myself, I know alt ed teachers are supposed to expect these kinds of things and not take them personally. But damn if that isn't hard. I became extremely angry, then I realized I had no choice but to make it through the day, so I put on my best teacher face and tried to wash it from my mind as I washed it from the desks. I mentioned it in class, but of course couldn't make it a big deal, because it would then become a big deal. I did my best Buddhist impression and tried to take the suffering as something that I would have to overcome.

I am partially telling this story to vent my frustration with the students and the principal, and partially to share how difficult it can be to work with troubled youth. I think that there is also a big piece of me that has a huge difficulty coming to work when I know that I wont be there next year, and when things like this happen, it just makes it that much harder to continue but easier to know that I am leaving.

...

I now have this strange sympathy for that supine raccoon, and how he must have felt, and maybe how he still feels.

Ugh, that seems extremely dark, let me change the metaphor a little bit. Sometimes we forget how fast traffic is moving on the freeway and how deadly it really can be--especially to raccoons.

Another interesting sign of the times. Two girls in a little town south of Watsonville that I drive through were putting on a car wash to pay for a family funeral. You don't see that every day.

The Sky is on Fire

2009-03-07T09:52:00.000-08:00

Here are some pictures I took of the sunset a few nights ago. There is also a great shot of Meghan with her new haircut.

From Beach Sunset 1

evening at "The Hook"

The Sky is on fire.

I'm learning how to get the sunset colors just right. N'joy and thanks for the comments on the last entry.

What Teachers Make.

2009-03-02T21:16:00.000-08:00

I went to an CATE conference a few weeks ago and saw this guy Taylor Mali. He is a poet and educator who runs this poetry cafe in NYC and he's curating a program in which slam poets share the stage with "page poets" (?). He is on stage with Billy Collins-one of my idols--who I also met at the last CATE conference. Here's a photo I took of him. It was kindof an awkward place to take a photo, thats why its not awesome.

I watched that video again and it made me rant a little bit in my head about what my principal thinks a good CAHSEE English class should look like. He has told me more than once that there shouldn't be any books read in my class. It should only be CAHSEE tests and worksheets. Of course I've thought about this before but as I was discussing it with Meghan the potency of it all started to come through.

That is what is wrong with our school system. Yes my principal seems a little out of touch and books better have a place in the classroom. But the bigger picture is, if we teach to the test, what will our kids really learn? how to pass a test?
I guess thats important in this society, but it is a shame.

Low level students need to learn how to read and understand and grow from it. If they cant read, they have nothing. Well I'll try not to rant too much more about school, but it seems like there's always something.

I make kids think.

Newsworthy

2009-02-25T20:35:00.000-08:00

I was reading in one of my magazines about ways to garner media attention, specifically if you are an activist (which I only sometimes am). It said that if you are writing you must remember that your opinion is not news. News is when something happens, your opinion is just your personal take on a situation. (Mother Jones March '09) I guess I'm usually guilty of spewing my opinion, unless you count the things that happen in my life or in my classroom as news.

I've been teaching this book, Tears of a Tiger along with our special ed teacher. Its a very relevant book about a drunk driving accident in which the main character kills his best friend, and has to deal with the responsibility and depression that follows something difficult like that. It is told from many different perspectives and uses an African American main character along with typical teenager slang to draw students in.

Well, unlike many of the books and movies we experience this book does not have a happy ending. The main characters ends up committing suicide because he cant deal with the weight of the situation. It is very sad, but it is written in a responsible way, and should be taught in a responsible way.

In a conversation with the special ed teacher, she told me her concern with finishing the book. She thinks that we should skip the ending, because its too sad and too realistic for many of our students.

I feel very differently. I feel that we would give students a grave disservice if we didn't finish it. First of all kids need to finish books and feel that sense of accomplishment, but the other reality is that suicide, death, and depression are very real topics that many adolescents (and adults) deal with. Avoiding it in a story and censoring it is not the right thing to do.

So I'm curious what you think--Do you have an opinion? Should the ending be skipped? please comment and let me know what you think.

A little note: I will not be returning to my job next year, that is all I will publish here, if you want the scoop, email me.

From Scotts bday223

Shot of my buddy Scott and I

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Now playing: Iron & Wine - Free Until They Cut Me Down
via FoxyTunes

Le Tour De California

2009-02-18T20:38:00.000-08:00

Last Monday we were privileged enough to have the tour of California come through Santa Cruz. Meghan played a pretty big part organizing a kids parade before the race, and a fun zone after the race.

It was a messy rainy day, but our friends Perry and Anne came out to enjoy the race anyway, and that we did. So without further ado, here are some photographs I took of the race. I have included some of my favorite pictures, then I made a slideshow of all of the photos. Feel free to click on it to see them.

From Tour de Cali

It really was amazing to see how fast these men were riding. We waited all day for them to fly by at about 30 mph. But it was worth every minute.

Santa Cruz Photo Essay 1

2009-02-08T17:48:00.000-08:00

From new camera 21009

I just got a new camera so I decided to post some of the photographs I took this weekend around Santa Cruz. I will probably start documenting more things with photos in the future.

2009-02-08T17:38:00.000-08:00

Struggle leads to Grace

2009-01-28T18:58:00.000-08:00

Songs for these times.
I heard a couple songs about these times we're living in, and this one seemed to be the most perceptive and realistic. The song talks about not being able to pay the bills, but realizing that beauty lies in terrible times. I think there is a strange almost fatal optimism that is abound with Obama's inauguration, but it feels so good---and she's right, struggle does lead to grace.

struggle leads to grace Rachel Griffin

Even in the most most horrific times, the most disparaging things that we have to overcome can and often do lead us to grace. Sometimes we don't even realize the grace because we are buried in doubt.

The economy is bad, people are losing jobs, depression is looming but in a strange way, we have set the stage for beautiful things to happen.

Here is another interesting video about these times. The song is catchy, but the video is pretty touching, its based on Gandhi's quote, "Be the Change you Hope to see in the World"

One more video that to me speaks volumes is this one. Its a multinational music project. Its uplifting and inspiring. Enjoy!

Best Albums of 2008

2009-01-14T19:37:00.000-08:00

I have wanted to do this for awhile, as the budding music critic inside of me is always trying to get out. My dad told me my grammar was bad in the last entry so I'll try my best to write well on this one.

All of the major publishers and media outlets get to publish their best-of lists, so I thought I would publish mine. I have included links to the artist Myspace page so that you can check out their music. They are in no particular order:

Ben Sollee-- Learning to Bend
I only recently discovered this album while listening to NPR. It turns out that he is a member of the Abigail Washburn sparrow Quartet, who plays with Bela Fleck. He is an incredible cellist, but he has found a way to bridge the classical roots of the cello with with a soulful sound of Motown with a little pop sensibility. He has an incredible updated version of Sam Cooke's "A little change in gonna come" and he has a beautiful plea to the new president, "A few Honest words." This is the kind of music we should all be hearing.

Bon Iver-- For Emma, Forever Ago
Absolutely the most beautiful piece of music that I have experienced (again and again) in years. The entire album was written in a cabin in northern Wisconsin after a bitter breakup. The lead singer, Justin Vernon has an impossible falsetto that is nothing more than gorgeous. I highly recommend listening to this album in the middle of the winter with a cool breeze on your shoulder on a park bench with good headphones. The melodies of anger and recovery will most definitely sweep you away. I also recommend checking out their house concert on the Take away shows website. The band plays a house concert then walks through the streets of Paris playing their music. This album has made 2008 bearable.

Dr Dog--Fate
This album speaks to a side of me that I don't often access--my 70's psychedelic rock side. This is an upbeat, fun album that sings. I learned of Dr. Dog on one of my favorite websites, treehugger.com. The person writing about it said that he just can't seem to remove the cd from his Cd player, its infectious. The band brings up hints of the Beatles, but not too much. It has a modern/classic rock feel throughout. I've had it playing on my ipod continuously for the last few months.

Blind Pilot-- Three Rounds and a Sound

One of the editors for pitchfork.com mentioned this as one of her favorite albums of 2008. I had never heard it, but after downloading it I cant seem to get enough. They play an acoustic rock with many beautiful harmonies. They have become my new Bon Iver (mentioned above) although they are a little more upbeat. After I realized how much I like them, I started to research them and found out that their west coast tour was done completely on bicycle from Washington to San Diego. With this news, of course they earned a place in my heart.

Esperanza Spalding-- Esperanza
This artist is slightly different from my other picks, but I think she is equally amazing. She is a contemporary jazz artist from Portland, who sings in English, Portuguese, and Spanish. She has a beautiful voice and creates accessible music that plays perfectly with a glass of wine in the evening. I think that she will soon be on the forefront of the contemporary jazz scene.

Okkerville River-- The Stand Ins
These guys have sort of become the media darlings of indie music, but their recognition is much deserved. They are an acoustic but rockin' band from Austin who just released the second installment of their thematic albums. Their first album was about being a star from the musicians point of view and this album speaks from the fan point of view--absolute brilliance for all you budding English majors out there. "Lost Coastlines" has the buildup and execution of a perfect rock song. After hearing it once, you'll swear you've heard it before. All together the music is fun and provocative at the same time.

The Bowerbirds--Hyms for a dark Horse
I'm not sure how I discovered this album, in fact I'm not even sure it was released in 2008, but it has really resonated through the year. Their music is somewhere between folk, Americana, and traditional eastern European dance music. Their instruments consist of an acoustic guitar, a violin, and an accordion (which is making a comeback by the way). I could picture them playing at the new anarchist cafe in Santa Cruz or at a private small venue in San Francisco. Their music is artistic yet accessible. It also has all of these wonderful nature and bird references which kind of makes me giddy.

Notable mention: Girl Talk, Shearwater, Vetiver, and Frightened rabbit.

I love music and hope that my favorites give you some insight into some of the new music that has tickled my soul this last year.

Feel free to comment about what your favorites were, or about your thoughts on some of these albums.

Green Tea and winter journeys

2009-01-08T19:33:00.000-08:00

For Vacation last week, Meghan and I road-tripped up to Oregon (California's Canada). We decided this after many people said it wasn't a good idea, because of the weather--but it turned out to be a beautiful trip.

We drove from Santa Cruz to Eugene, which was cool but kinda dead becuase students were out of town. We then crossed the mountains from Eugene to Bend with Greg Brown singing, "Sometimes you gotta leave the I-5 and go not look for nothin'." We spent a few days in Bend, skiing, partying and soaking in the hot tub. It was a fun town. Then we crossed back over to Portland and got snowed on. Then we met up with our good friends in Portland and had a lovely 3 days with them, going to bookstores, drinking coffee, sightseeing, and of course drinking beer. Then we headed down through little Ashland and back to the Bay.

View Larger Map

Oregon was a festival of greenery. People were amazingly friendly, everything was moist with life--including Portland. We really enjoyed the city, the friends, the drinks and each other's company.

Winter is a beautiful time to see everything in a little bit different light.

I added a slideshow of the trip to the site, and here is a link to the web-album:
http://picasaweb.google.com/DCZook

Had to post it

2008-12-22T09:20:00.001-08:00

Im not sure how I feel about this whole bailout, but I had to share this:

Feliz Navidad.

Listening to Blind Pilot (and its awesome)

Graphic Design

2008-12-20T11:25:00.000-08:00

I am Finally starting the Christmas break, and I wanted to share some beer labels that i have developed in the past. (I, of course cant show this years Christmas label, because it may spoil the surprise). Ive been learning a lot about photoshop and how to use it to design. Its a lot of fun, but somewhat time-consuming.

This is Winter 2007
<---

This is for our neighbors' wedding beer.
<---

???? This year's Xmas label will be posted after the holidays.

A little recognition

2008-12-15T16:54:00.001-08:00

So I was published in two local publications. Its kind of exciting even if they are just letters to the editor.
Santa Cruz Sentinel letter
Metro Santa Cruz letter

Nice to know my voice is heard, even if it is just a little bit.

Yesterday, I saw Milk with Meghan and my friend Scott. What an inspiring look at not just a man's life, but at how powerful individual activism can be, when someone cares enough to make change.

I highly recommend it.

...like a setting winter sun

2008-12-13T18:06:00.000-08:00

In an effort to slide down the last post, to push it out of my life; its time for a little reflection:

I love this time of year. When the air gets cold and the it hurts a little to get out of bed. Its been a little strange this year, with winter just on the edge--not quite ready to commit. But with this weekend, and this last week I've really felt winter in the air.

As much as Meghan will deny it, I kinda like Christmas time. I don't like the commercial side of it, but I like the warm feeling it brings, and the anticipation. And walking through union square in SF even makes me like the commercial side of it (just a little bit)

Winter moves slowly, like a poem, gently leaving its imprint on you. Its not an easy season, but it is absolutely necessary.

One of the main reasons I moved from San Diego back to northern California was a desire for change in season. I know Santa Cruz is no snowy mountain retreat, but the chill is beautiful and it make me feel more alive. Change is important to us all.

Even the ocean feels different in the winter, it has a cool glow. Meghan and I walked along it this morning and tasted the cool fog and salty air on our breath, and it tasted different. The winter waves can be monstrous, but the ocean itself is just changing colors, like the leaves. The redwoods feel different too, they bring in the darkness and the cold quicker. On my afternoon bike ride, my fingers started to freeze, and even though I was a little upset to end early; I could hear the winter trees belly-laughing at me.

In winter, it is ok to stay inside and read; and melancholy music really feels perfect; beer tastes a little bit better and warm cup of tea can solve all of your problems. I think I am a winter person, and I think the change it brings is good for us all.

Listening to Damien Jurado Ohio

A bit perturbed

2008-12-09T16:54:00.000-08:00

I don't want to post too much information about this because its still in the works, that being said, here's why today kinda sucks:

Last week on one of the days I rode my bike to school, I forgot my classroom keys. While in Yearbook I sent two trustworthy students to the office to get the keys to my camera closet. They came back and opened the closet and brought the key to me. They opened it without my permission, so I just mentioned to them not to do it again. Then I locked it (probably 3 minutes after they opened it). They then checked out the camera and took pictures around campus.

That night I had a midnight vision, in which the school video camera was missing from the closet. I went to school the next day and found it to be gone. I talked to the one student who was there and of course he knew nothing about it.

So I let my principal know, and he was visibly upset, as was I.

So my first dilemma arises, why cant I trust students? I want to be able to and I feel that earning trust is an important step in growing up. So once again, students break Mr. Zs trust. Ugh

So this week gets going and the camera was not found. Both students denied any knowledge, as did all studetns in the class. So another piece of equipment (that I dont even use) has been stolen.

Today, I recieved a demerit letter of unsatisfactory job performance. It was because I wasnt taking care of the school's equipment well enough. I am frusterated in myself for trusting students, but really? unsatisfactory performance? How does that have anything to do with my teaching?

I am tired of getting taken advantage of by students, and by administration. I am not a bad person, nor am I a bad teacher; I believe this is a little bit unfair.

What do you think?

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Now playing: Dar Williams - The One Who Knows
via FoxyTunes

A video you really must see

2008-12-05T17:54:00.000-08:00

Not only is this video hilarious, its relevant and Jack Black playing Jesus... priceless.

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Throwing a bottle (That's what they call hitchhiking in Cuba)

2008-11-20T20:32:00.000-08:00

Its been awhile since I rode my bike to work, but that's because my local bike shop took forever to get my wheels rebuilt. But I finally got it back and was able to ride today. I knew that either I would forget something or something would go wrong, I just wasn't sure what.

So there I was, riding my normal route amongst the cows, strawberries and gigantic trucks sufficiently in the middle of nowhere, and I got a flat tire. This is normally not a problem, but today I didnt have any sort of tire changing equipment, so I tried to use the back of my pump, and lo and behold, I broke it. So not only could I not change my tire, I couldn't pump up the original.

I was about 20 minutes from school over a big hill, so I called my colleague who drives the same way. I left a message and called him again and again; he already thinks I'm weird, so this morning bombardment of calls probably didnt help.

He didn't answer. I thought, "shit" what do I do? i guess my principal could come get me, but that's probably not the best solution. I ended up calling him too, but noone answered, so I decided to hitchhike. I did it in central America and Alaska, why not Prunedale. I put out my thumb for awhile and noone even slowed down except to give me a funny look. So I waited, and waited. And then, flying around the corner comes my fellow teacher, Carlos, or C-lo as I like to call him (not really).

He skids up to me looks at me as if I've lost my mind. He throws his hands up in the air and I throw my bike in his truck and get in. He tells me, what are you doing. I said, hitchhiking, what does it look like.

So as we sorted things out, it turns out that his phone was turned off and he had no idea that I called, he just thought I was some wahoo trying to get a free ride, but he recognized my bike and stopped.

So I made it to work, fixed my bike and had a nice ride home. That was quite a morning though.

listening to Britney spears "womanizer" (not really)

Conflicts

2008-11-19T19:16:00.000-08:00

<-- a little Photoshop fun

A few weeks ago, I kindof decided that I wouldn't be following the CAHSEE curriculum as closely as I had been told to do. Aside from scoffing at the idea of teaching to a standardized test, I also found that there was no way I could conduct or control a class if the kids were lambasted with boring-state-mandated materials.

So I started peeling short stories from my previous years teaching and from my college readings that left an impression on me. We read "Lamb to the Slaughter" about a woman who kills her husband with a lamb leg, "The somebody" about a kid from east LA who finds that tagging his name all over his neighborhood made him feel like a somebody, and now we are reading, "Greasy Lake." I've been choosing these stories for their themes and connectedness to my students.

While reading, "Greasy Lake" to them, while describing a brutal fight, drug exploration, and a potential rape scene, I began to question myself. I don'd like censorship, and I like hard-hitting stories that really get my students into them and that they can relate to, but I wonder, even with deep discussion and analysis--will they really get the positive messages out of the stories?

I cound read to the class for 45 minutes and the F bomb or "marijuana" would be mentioned once and they wouldnt be able to tell me anything about the story except that the main character smoked pot.

I believe in challenging the traditional notions of the classroom but I also want to support the understanding of difficult situations in literature and life and I may not be always getting through. I guess all I can do is try.

Two important links

2008-11-12T21:35:00.000-08:00

I realize I have been quite political lately, but our lives are inherently political so here are two people saying things better than I could:

Keith Obermann on Prop 8 (powerful words):

Alice Walker in an open letter to a new president:

An Open Letter to Barack Obama

By Alice Walker | TheRoot.com

Alice Walker on expectations, responsibilities and a new reality that is almost more than the heart can bear.

AFP/Getty Images

Type Size

We did it!!

2008-11-05T20:35:00.000-08:00

I don't think I will soon forget the feeling that I felt when Obama was declared president of the US, and everyone in the restaurant I was in stood up and started clapping and screaming. A tear in Meghans eyes and overwhelming joy in mine. Yesterday was a day for the history books.

I heard it many times today on the radio: Not since Lincoln signed the emancipation proclomation has there been a more important day than today. It is not a day for speeches, or prose, it is a day for poetry.

I am overjoyed by our countries decision to elect Obama, but I am a bit frusterated that in a state that votes for chickens to have bigger cages a proposition was passed that will make it illegal for all people to get married. I hope very deeply that this unconstitutional proposition is rejected in the state courts.

A Pressing issue

2008-10-29T17:44:00.000-07:00

I felt the need to share a podcast that I just listened to to bring up an important discussion around the presidential election coming up next tuesday. So here's the link to the podcast.
This American Life Ground Game

You can also download it via itunes. I realize its hard to sit through an hour radio show, but I highly recommend it. It goes in depth with some volunteers on both sides of the campaign specifically in the supposed battleground state of Pennsylvania.

I have to say, as I was listening to it this morning I became slightly frusterated. One of the main issues with a lot of folks who normally vote democrat, but arent sure this time is race. Its not even a little voice in the back of their mind either. There are a significant number of voters who actually will not vote for Obama because he is black. (along with the other absurd accuasations of terrorism and a muslim background)

It really bothered me to hear how ok it was for people to say that they are openly racist, or at least prejudiced. I come from a surface-level liberal state where most people would never admit to being racist--I say surface level because I see racism every day, it is ingrained in all of us, even Californians--what really bothers me is the sheer momentum that racism is mounting against our canidate.

If anything it reenforces my belief that the election of Obama will take forward in great strides as a country. But it really makes me think--damn--we need to really evaluate the paradigm that we live in. We need to attack racism head on, not just turn our heads and pretend we didnt hear that comment made in the office or the classroom. There needs to be a powerful assault from all people to change the way so many people think in this country.

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Now playing: The Weepies - Stars
via FoxyTunes

Proposition 8 and equal rights

2008-10-19T19:00:00.000-07:00

I was just visiting my mother in Danville, and I saw an unfortunate number of signs pushing for a Yes vote on proposition 8. This deeply disturbs me, even more than the McCain Palin signs I saw all over Tahoe this weekend. What gets me the most is the yes on prop 8 sign works a propaganda approach saying that it is protecting our families.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, here's the downlow:
Proposition 8 was introduced to the ballot for the november 4 election to eliminate the law that says marriage, in California, is legal between a man and man or a woman and woman. This law was established by the CA supreme courts this last winter. And I thought it was long overdue, but now some special interest groups are trying to change it. According to some of their commercial they are saying that teachers (that's me) will brainwash their children to believe that homosexuality is ok. The unfortunate addendum that they are missing is that they will be the ones who have brainwashed their own children to believe that love can only occur between a man and woman.

There was an interesting letter to the editor in Saturday's SF Chronicle that was from a mother explaining what a difficult thing it would be to tell her daughter that not all people are allowed to love each other, only men and women.

I believe this to be a civil rights issue that should not be ignored, if you live in California and you vote for prop 8, I believe that you are voting to take away human dignity and rights that all people deserve.

Vote no on prop 8!

Politics and Rhetoric

2008-10-02T19:13:00.000-07:00

Just listening to the vice presidential debate and I'm of course interested, but I'm also a little bit frustrated. When I hear these debates, especially this one, I find, as an audience member awash in rhetoric.

It seems that these debated aren't so much about the issues as they are about how best to spin their issues. It may seem strange coming from me that I am disillusioned by politics after all of my pro Obama statements. I haven't changed my opinion, but this vice-presidential debate has shown me that debate--even on a presidential level-- is a game of wordsmiths, not policy.

After hearing Biden and Palin arguing over a vote that McCain made about protection of troops I realize that the game has begun.

I do have to say though. I think Biden kind of kicked butt against the middle-class hockey mom BS coming from Palin.

Did I just contradict myself?

The Sweet Mix of Fertilizer, Urine, and Exhaust

2008-09-25T18:05:00.000-07:00

As I was riding my bike down my new commute route, taking a deep breath, I wondered if I was increasing my life expectancy by riding or decreasing it by breathing in the chemical ridden Salinas Valley air.

I am trying to balance my ugly commute with 2 days of riding/bus-ing per week to balance my physical activity, my mind and my ugly toll on the environment.

Its a good ride--about 14 miles each way from Watsonville to Prunedale, up and over a small mountain and against traffic on the 101 for a short distance. It definitely increases my happiness quotient, and surprisingly, I like the bus ride a lot as well. There is some incredible people wathching--and work time-- but best of all I dont have to drive.

After reading the section of The Omnivores Dillema that talks about the Salinas Valley and smelling the mixture of odors that waft by me, I definitely have to question farming practices. Although, the strawberries to smell delicious.

I hope I can keep up this routine and possibly alternate it with some carpooling. It will definitely make this commute more manageable.

Listening to Blitzen Trapper Furr

Music in strange places or strange places in music?

2008-09-11T19:10:00.000-07:00

Been watching some interesting videos from a french website that films bands playing their songs in very different settings than would be expected:
Beirut in a brooklyn stairway:

Grizzly Bear in a Bathroom:

Arcade Fire in an elevator:

Awesome stuff.

What will we do if it does Change?

2008-09-06T10:15:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning with a strange thought... and now in retrospect it seems less likely than it did through my early morning dreams.

I was thinking about Mr. Obama and what might change if he were commander in chief. Of course being the ego-drowned american that I am, I believe that everything I want to change will change based on my beliefs, but thats slightly absurd.

I was thinking about how life in the America has been littered with bad decisions and the crumbling notions of an empire in decline during the last 8 years. I was thinking about the anger I've had about the war in Iraq and Bush's "environmental policies."

Then I thought what would we, collectively as progressive Americans have to complain about if Obama was president. There was a strange Utopian feeling that came over me about how everything would be great if he were to become president, and we wouldnt have anything to protest about or be enraged about.

Then reality struck me again. I think Obama is the right choice for our country, and I think "W" has really done some destructive things but things arent going to instantly be better.

Not to be a pessimist, but I believe that we are dealing with a roman empire on the edge of collapse no matter who is in charge. I have nothing but hope for the future, but no one person is going to make this country better from the ills that it suffers.

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Now playing: Josh Ritter - Monster Ballads

Labor Day in a Coffee shop, Laboring

2008-09-01T11:52:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to share some interesting experiences from the last week:

Ladyfight in my classroom: There were desks flying, people cheering, and nails scraping. I tried my best to break it up, but there are some things that just cant be stopped. Some of my other students told me they would have helped to break it up because those girls are tough--that was nice of them.

Indigo Girls and Matt Nathanson singing "kid fears" and "Closer to fine":
Wow, yesterday Meghan and I spent the day at the Oakland Art and Soul festival. I have to say that hearing these two songs were close to perfection. The ladies harmonies are amazing and smooth as butter, but throw in a male voice and wow. We had a great time celebrating her birthday.

I'm actually enjoying my new school quite a bit. Of course its a challene, but what school wouldnt be? The kids are more respectful that my students last year, but they are all working on being students--of course Im working on being a teacher. :)

Listening to the Temptation of Adam--Josh Ritter

My distant summer past

2008-08-17T10:51:00.001-07:00

The flowers sitting beside me on the desk seem like the perfect metaphor for my summer past.

They were once bright, eclectic and beautiful, and now they are desperately trying to stay colorful and beautiful while their life is withering away.

Okay that may be overly dramatic.

School started last Wednesday, and it seems like its bee three weeks, not days that I have been teaching. The interesting thing, is the planning and the commute are the two things that have been exhausting me most, not the kids. For the most part, they are respectful and interested. And--get this-- they listen.

It is most definitely the honeymoon period, but this school is definitely run with an iron fist. Kids don't get away with much. I walked into class Wednesday, slightly afraid of what to expect, and all except for the freshman, I am happily surprised. It is definitely a change, teaching a 6 period day after teaching block schedule last year, and after my summer mellow time.

I believe this will be a good match, but its going to take awhile to adjust to the change.

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Now playing: In My Time of Dyin' - Bob Dylan
via FoxyTunes

Just when I thought I was Safe

2008-08-11T17:14:00.000-07:00

I realize that most people reading this should have no sympathy for me, but my summer vacation is--unfortunately--coming to an end.

Tomorrow I begin my new teaching career. I will be starting the new job and trying to adopt the new curriculum. I will have new students who may or may not trust me as a teacher, I will be a new member of a cohesive staff and will see if I can also gain their trust.

I will be teaching Advanced English, CAHSEE english, and Yearbook. I am a little bit afraid of the CAHSEE class. I will basically be preparing students to pass the CA state High School exit exam. As you may or not know, I am personally opposed to teaching to a test. That is exactly what many of the mandates coming from Georgie and NCLB are getting teachers to do. I understand as well that many of these students must pass this test for a high school diploma. So it does have a very concrete outcome.

I hope that things remained balanced, as they seem very out of balance right now with my transition from relaxation to stress. Ugh :I

Big Sur: Joy, recuperation, and soul

2008-07-21T14:57:00.000-07:00

Last week, when I told friends that I was riding my bike down to Big Sur to camp, the two most common responses were, "Why?" and "You know that Big Sur is on fire, right?"
After watching a small soulful show of The White Buffalo playing at the Fernwood bar in Big Sur, it would be easy to assume that Big Sur was still on fire. The fire burning there now is not a dangerous one; it is a fire of energy and beauty that was exemplified when the large man with beautiful long hair names with the moniker of "The White Buffalo" moved the crowd through a set of soulful folk-rock songs that would have set any place on fire.

Meghan and I met up with Tim and his fiance Jill at this rustic bar and over a few locally brewed beers, we were rocked to a completely different mind-space. The White Buffalo isn't all that well-known, he had a song on the soundtrack for the surf movie, "Shelter" and he has released one EP. It seems that he may not want to be any bigger than he is.
But check out this beautiful song:

Love Song 1 - The White Buffalo

Beyond that it was sad to see the entire mountainside of Los Padres National forest charred from the Basin Complex fires. A lot was burnt, but not destroyed, as we all know fire is a necessary force for revival in the forest. But it was truly exciting to see the people of Big Sur reviving themselves and coming together. There was a great energy everywhere we went. It was as if this natural disaster brought everyone together a little bit more.

It added to the strange magic that makes Big Sur what it is.

From my Perception, Big Sur is doing just fine.

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Now playing: Shearwater - White Waves
via FoxyTunes

A Short Rant

2008-07-16T12:01:00.000-07:00

This is purely for me to vent a little bit:
I went in to the doctor about a month ago for a physical. It was mainly because of two things: I knew that my insurance was soon to expire (changing jobs and all that) and because prior to that I hadn't been to the doctor in about 3-4 years.

Everything went fine and I am ok but my insurance sent me a bill telling me otherwise.

I was billed $330 for my physical and I found out that my insurance, Anthem Blue Cross would not cover the physical, this was considered, "preventative care." I called them and they verified that they would not cover preventative care, yet that if I went in with a cold or flu, they would have covered it.

It made me very upset that I would have to pay for this "preventative" care. I made an office visit and they gave me a slight discount, but it was nothing substantial.

Obviously this is a dent in my wallet during the summer, but I will survive. It just brings about bigger questions and problems.

Health insurance is a faulty system that allows a vicious cycle to continue. If they are promoting good health, shouldn't they be more focused on preventative care? If people are more healthy and check their health more often, they wont have to go in when they are really sick or injured because that wont happen as often. Preventative care should be insurance for healthiness. Obviously these big health care companies care less about health of their members and more about health of their gigantic billfolds.

It time to change the health care system. I am tired of waiting. And I am one of the lucky ones who has a decent health care plan that accompanies my job, what about the millions without health care? There is something deathly wrong with a society that values capital over health!

Summer Break Pt. II / The New Roadtrip

2008-07-13T00:14:00.001-07:00

Its not a completely new concept or anything, but to me it seemed like an astonishing discovery.I discovered over the course of about 7 days that the absolute best and most efficient way to travel over short or long distances is by bicycle. And with gas prices the way they are it seems that there really aren't many other options.

It started a few weeks ago at the Kate Wolf Memorial Music festival in Laytonville (North Mendocino county) with a few friends. We spent the weekend camping, swimming in the river, meeting people, jamming, hula hooping, and listening to some great music: Highlights included Greg Brown, Taj Mahal, The Wailin Jennys bringing the crowd to tears with their harmonies, Ani Difranco, Ruthie Foster, and many more.

After the festival was over, my friend Perry and I descended into the depths of hell (the Legget fires) on our bikes. As we got closer to the smoke and the fires it seemed as if someone was trying to tell us that maybe this bike thing wasn't the best idea. But after some greasy burgers and interesting conversation with the local sherriff, we ascended the coastal mountains and were blessed with crystal clear views of the Mendocino forests and coastline.

We made our way down the northern California coast averaging about 50-60 miles a day and had a blast. We camped at bike camps, ate great food, and shared with fellow bikers. We met some wonderful people and some strange people. We watched the sun set on the coast and the fog descend upon us every afternoon and morning. We went swimming in the Navarro river, napped on pacific cliffs and ate dough nuts out of dumpsters (interesting story).

It was an incredible journey and it really got me excited about bike touring. Its so easy, its a great workout, and its inexpensive.

In the past i really enjoyed going on roadtrips as a way to see places and meet interesting people, but I feel that current gas prices don't really make that kind of frivolous gas-burning acceptable (that and global warming). I think that bike tours are the new road trip. They really teach you to appreciate your surroundings and every mile of the road.

Im realizing that its very late and my words are blurring together. I will post a link to my photos from the trip in the next few days. Here are a few pictures:

Some travellin friends Organic coffee in Fort Bragg

view from the coastal town of Elk

View Larger Map

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Now playing: Chavela Vargas - La llorona

Summer Break Pt. I

2008-06-26T08:55:00.000-07:00

This summer started with the Santa Cruz Mountains burning in 4 different places. It seemed like an ominous beginning to my first summer without specific plans since before I started high school.

This summer I have chosen not to work nor to vacation internationally, mainly because of the dominating costs and my want to spend more time with Meghan, my friends and my family. I realize that it is a luxury, as a teacher to have this much time to play around with, but I think and hope that it will increase my happiness quotient. (random fact: The country of Bhutan actually measures its GNH Gross National Happiness)

I did begin working on the farm that works with the Santa Cruz Homeless Garden Project, but I will write more about after I spend more time there. Along with this vacationing, I hope to get involved with my community

...

The first week was surprisingly difficult as I discovered that Newtons first law (an object in motion remains in motion unless acted upon by an equal and opposite force) applies to teachers and summer break. I had no idea what to do with all of my time. I wanted to relax but found myself unable to. So, I got together with my old high school buddy, Dominick and decided that we should go backpacking in Yosemite.

And being the privileged vacation-prone people that we are we did it. We spent 3 days in and around Yosemite's Tuolumne meadows. Over 3 days we hiked about 25 miles from an elevation of 8,000 ft to an elevation of 11,000 feet. The trails we hiked on were just thawing from their winter hibernation... meaning that they were muddy, snow covered and extremely mosquito-ridden in some places.

We saw Marmots, Prairie dogs, White tail deer, bear scat, wild rivers and streams, frozen lakes, alpine tundra, and boy scouts. It was a wonderful experience and it left both of us wanting to stay longer.

I am sure it wont be my only backpacking trip this summer, but it sure was an amazing one to start with. Dom had to be back to continue his job search, and i had to return for my next adventure: The Kate Wolf Music Festival and my bike ride down the California coast. But more of that to come. Until then here are some backpacking pictures and a link to where you can see more.

River Thoughts

Dinner Prep

Ireland Lake, Frozen in all its glory

Dom and Daren on top of another Pass.

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Now playing: Dolorean - You Can't Win
via FoxyTunes

You guys rock

2008-06-05T19:36:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to say thanks to the responsive public. Lets keep the avenue open for discussion. Anyone have any thoughts about Obama's recent nomination--should Hillary be his his vice nomination or will he be ok on his own?

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Now playing: Nina Simone - Little Girl Blue (The Postal Service Remix)
via FoxyTunes

not feeling extremely reflective

2008-06-02T19:09:00.000-07:00

Summer is on the horizon. I can see it, yet at times it just feels so far away.
It's June and I am so looking forward to being done with the school year. Kids are a little crazy, but the reality is--the stress of preparing, grading and planning is just getting to me. I need a break.

This is the last week of instruction and next week we have graduation and conferences and cleaning my classroom and compiling data for my school (WHAT??!!). yeah, its all coming.

Its funny because I look so foreword to summer, but I'm really not sure what I'm going to do with myself. I know I need to relax, but it will be weird not to have any work. I feel like I've been putting everything off until summer begins (not really the best excuse).

Well I guess the title of this post is suiting, I'm just not sure what else to talk about. Although, I would enjoy if anyone who reads my blog could please click on the little comment button. And say something. It gets hard to get motivated to write when I'm not sure if anyone is reading. Thanks

Listening to: random classical music at the coffee shop

Raizes

2008-05-21T20:35:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to share a few things. First of all its been a long couple of weeks, dealing with this job transition and such, but I'm making it through. One of the things that Is really helping me is my capoeira class that i started a little over a month ago. Its this amazing Brazilian Martial art that is more of a dance then a fight. Each of the moves are responses and music plays an integral part in it. It is a physical and mental challenge, but it really takes my mind off other things.

I thought I would post some videos of it. It is originally a dance that slaves developed and practiced in brazil. It has roots in African and Portugese music and dance. This first video is from my school during the last presentation they had:

This second video is of a famous instructor mestre bimba. It has some really cool footage:

oh yeah, one other fun thing I found recently. Totally unrelated: Tom Waits interviewing himself. How postmodern

Humbled through headphones

2008-05-13T16:30:00.000-07:00

I was riding my bike home today, and I was very nearly pushed off the road by a truck who was turning left without a signal. I, of course, could rant about those drivers who don't feel the need to use turn signals, but I wont go off on some diatribe.

In my usual non-confrontational defensive fashion, I gave the driver the evil eye. I think he must have been quaking in his boots, so he opened his window and yelled at me. I couldn't hear what he was saying because I had my headphones in, but I was sure it was something obnoxious. So I took out a headphone and started telling him that he needed to use turn signals or bikers cant see him. I was slightly furious. And when I finished he looked at me strangely and repeated himself, "I said, I'm sorry" he yelled through the window. My anger turned into humility, "thanks man." I had nothing more to say.

I guess its not fair to think that all SUV drivers are jerks. I kinda felt like a jerk for yelling at him.

So I learned a lesson, but I still hope people learn to better use their turn signals. There have been far too many bike deaths in Santa Cruz this year.

It's Official

2008-05-04T20:52:00.000-07:00

Last week was somewhat absurd, but it is now official. I will be taking a new job on next year.

I was hired by a school that has a similar population to mine, but seems to be a bit more organized. The interview went great and the principal called me at 7:30 am the day after to offer me the job. It is a continuation school, not a charter, and it exists for students who either don't pass classes in mainstream high schools, get kicked out, or are raising children while trying to attend school.

It has some really interesting programs, one of being its nursery. There is an on-site childcare setup so that young parents can finish high school. They also serve a sit-down meal to all of the students and their parents one night every other month.

The best thing is that the principal runs a tight ship and really seems to support his teachers in any way that he can. All of the rooms have lots of technology, the teachers attend and present at at least one conference every year, and the school is a "model school."The kids were extremely respectful, and if they don't abide by school rules they are booted.

I don't want to mention the name of it, because I don't know who reads this blog, but I have to say i think the next few weeks may be difficult at my school. I really don't want to burn bridges with them, because they've provided me with so much--but I know they aren't happy with me. I also want to let the kids know, but not create chaos, as a few other teachers are also leaving.

I think a lot of wonderful and exciting things will be happening in my near future, but I will also have to deal with the transition and change of one position to another.

Oh yeah, then there's the commute. I currently ride my bike every day to school. That will definitely change next year as this school is a little over 25 miles away. Ugh-- gas prices don't seem to be going down either. but overall, I think it will be a welcome change.

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Now playing: Spokane - American Television
via FoxyTunes

More Politics your way-- si se puede cambiar

2008-04-08T18:06:00.000-07:00

I just ran across these two videos about my man. I thought I would share them. I find them inspiring in their diversity. I realize that songs are somewhat unfair forms of sharing political opinion, but I also think that there is nobetter way then to use art to make a difference. I have a feeling this won't be the last Obama post.

Peace.

A poet's lament

2008-04-06T14:22:00.000-07:00

In listening to Adam Duritz and the Counting Crows new release, Saturday nights and Sunday mornings, I have to admit that I wasn't initially impressed; even though I have a deep-seeded love for the crows, I have come to resent their commercial success-their seeming lack of humility to produce a Coca-cola commercial or a Shrek soundtrack. Although in deeper listening, I am reminded of Adam's incredible ability to write lyrics of euphoric beauty or ironic metaphor and insightful emptiness:

And I believe she loves you

Cause you never make her feel like anything

If his lyrics are as autobiographical as they seem, then Adam must have been in and out of hundreds of relationships, but at least they have created musings for depth in his music. His songs often connect to a continuing story or character or even a muse (Elizabeth, girl on a wire) and for me the truest and deepest connection comes from my personal past. I remember the snippets of beauty and how they exhaled through me as a young adult in middle and high school. I feel as if I have grown up with the crows and for that reason I cant let them go.

And so as an ardent crows fan, my opinion wont really be unbiased, but whose opinion is? The crows have a depth and self-absorbed beauty that not many other modern bands will ever be able to touch through lyrics. I think their new album Saturday Nights and Sunday Mornings, sings of truth and melodic beauty, and its probably the strongest album they have released in years.

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Now playing: Counting Crows - Come Around
via FoxyTunes

Select Cycle

2008-03-28T19:16:00.001-07:00

The Laundromat is a strangely beautiful place on a rainy evening.

The strange non-verbal interactions that take place between customers and the groaning silence of the few working machines create a strange feeling of warmth and safety.

flickering off-white lights drone through this ambiance. Cars speed madly from place to place, without pondering the simple beauty of this place.

I will sit and breathe in the strange elegance of a rainy night in the laundromat.

Quite a Day

2008-03-14T18:58:00.000-07:00

I just got finished with my conference-style day and I just thought I would share some of the experiences that I had:

There was one of my favorite student's mother who came in, unable to concentrate on what I was saying because she was waiting on a call from his doctor to find out if the body in his head was a tumor or just a clump of fat. I couldn't imagine going through that.

Her son is the sweetest boy. He plays mandolin and guitar (how can I not like that). He had brain surgery last year to get a cancerous body out of his head. He now forgets things and has to wear an eye patch to see correctly, but he is an incredible writer--like professional level description and character depth, its amazing. I was almost moved to tears when I found out that I'm his favorite teacher and he tells me things that he never tells his mom, like how afraid he is of the MRI that he had yesterday.

Then there was the mother who screamed at her son through the speaker of my cell phone. She couldn't make it, but wanted to be included. He isn't doing well, but she's a bit harsh. I must've had a look that was somewhere between, "yeah you better shape up" and "I'm so sorry dude."

And my favorite, one of my favorite students and her two moms, who are really great. She's been slacking lately but will graduate eventually. I asked her what she wants to do with her life and she said, " I want to be an English teacher Daren, like you." almost in tears, I wanted to say, "Then why the hell don't you do any of the work in my class!:)"

I think she'll make a great English teacher--one day.

Then there's another one of my favorites who played a guard in the recent production of Dead Man Walking. He is an amazing boy, who lost his brother to gang violence and lives in the craziest household I've ever heard of. Mom, Dad, Mom's boyfriend, adopted son and his coke addicted girlfriend. Even his dad told me, "home is not a safe place."

It breaks my heart but I don't know if he'll ever graduate because of the states new no child left behind requirements. He still struggles with reading the newspaper.

Thats my day in a nutshell

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Now playing: Bon Iver - The Wolves (Act I and II)
via FoxyTunes

A Strange incidence

2008-03-05T18:10:00.000-08:00

For Some reason I always want to begin these entries with "So" as if I am finishing a thought, but it seems so unprofessional and repetitive.

So, I got my ipod Stolen at school last week. Now, although Meghan may contest, I pride myself in not being an excessive consumer, but if you know anything about me and music you know that my two most prized posessions are my guitar and my ipod. So, I was a little dissapointed. More than just a little dissapointed I felt that this was the back-breaking straw that make me decide it was time to leave my school. Then there was this strange turn of events.

One of my favorite, most respectful, kindest students somehow ended up with a new ipod this week. She used it in her presentation in class, and told me that her boyfriend gave it to her. I have to say, I was not the least bit suspicious, but I still had to write down as much of the serial number as I could see.

As it turns out, the serial number matched, exactly with mine. I was surprised more than anything. How could one of my favorite students end up with my ipod? I must have written down the wrong serial number. But no, my mistakes did not add up. She somehow ended up with my ipod.

Our principal confiscated it and her boyfriend came in to talk to her about it. It turns out he found it outside of his Cabrillo class, and decided it would be a good gift for her. (can you sense the sarcasm in my writing?)

My principal thinks that he is covering for her and she actually stole it.

I have no idea what to do. I'm still a little shocked. I don't feel the need to force an apology, but I need her to know she broke my trust. I will talk to her tomorrow and it should be interesting.

She is the last one I would ever suspect. I just wonder if theft gives kids a sense of power or stability that they cant find anywhere else. I'm not mad, but I am happy to have my ipod back.

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Now playing: Breathe Owl Breathe - Sylvia Plath
via FoxyTunes

Been awhile

2008-02-24T18:42:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted in awhile but I thought I would ass some photos from Meghan and I cross Country Skiing in Tahoe last weekend. It was beautiful!

VIdeo to get your heart thumping

2008-02-08T19:01:00.000-08:00

I was moved by this video as Meghan teared up. It may be unfair to hit such a deep emotion when discussing politics, but I think its powerful.

I voted for Barack Obama in the primaries and although he didnt win California, I am extremely hopeful. I think that with support, Obama has a strong chance to really make change in this country.

I do question myself when I think about a big word like "change." Because it is vague but specific at the same time. When i hear Hillary I think more of the same in a slightly different direction, when I hear Obama I think...

America finally has a chance to fit in with the rest of this world, that it has been so intent on destroying.

My official Obama Endorsement

2008-01-26T19:59:00.000-08:00

I may be jumping the gun, but after listening to a few speeches and doing some research, I've decided that I will vote for Barak Obama in the upcoming primaries. I know its not traditionally American to say who you are going to vote for, but I think its important for me to share it so that I can encourage others to vote for him as well.
Here are my researched reasons:
He wants to end the war in Iraq as soon as possible
He wants to provide universal healthcare to every American
He wants to make NCLB actually work (or at least I can hope)
He is an avid environmentalist
He is a charismatic speaker
He makes me feel like I can be a part of the change

I am a bit interested to hear more about his policy on immigration, from what I understand its only ok.

Well there it is. Let me hear what you think.

----------------
Now playing: Magnolia Electric Co - Leave The City
via FoxyTunes

This is the Poem I used.

2008-01-16T11:38:00.000-08:00

This Poem Wants to Be a Revolutionary
by Mari Ann Roberts, from Emory University

This poem wants to make a change . . .

To be a strong yet silent raised fist in Mexico, 1968.

To stand at a window w/a shotgun writing the words
“By any means necessary”

To sit in at a lunch counter in Birmingham, Alabama
Until it is read

To start a breakfast program in Compton, California
In order to feed hungry minds

To stand up for its rights in Akron, Ohio and shout,
“Aint I A poem?”

To integrate an all white book store under protection of the National Guard
And if George Wallace says to it,
“You will not enter unless it's over my cold, dead, body...”
This poem will gladly take him up on his offer.

But now this poem feels that perhaps it is too militant,
Maybe it and Spike should just “Do the Right Thing”...

Take the hand of other poems deep in the South Georgia woods and lead them to freedom
Under cover of night-light.

Take its brothers and sisters out of “the man's” world and
Into Aaron's “Boondocks,”

Play it's own music, live in Jamaica and
Grow Nappy Locs,

Start a union with A. Phillip down at the docks,

Be read by Martin while being pelted with rocks.

Find out what would happen
“If Beale Street Could Talk”

This poem will get accused of “Ego Trippin” but
will not take it personally while saying
“And Still I Rise”

It will invite other poems to a free concert headlined by
Marvin, Stevie, Chuck D, and Black Thought

This poem will do what it should, not what others think it ought...

This poem will be munificent...
Will give because so much has been given to it...

Will do because so much has been done for it...

Will be able to sit down because so many others have
Stood up . . .

But this poem can not sit still for long...
Because this poem has been disenfranchised...

This poem was told that there is no longer a need
For affirmative action
and has had it replaced with definite inaction

This poem cast a vote in Florida, only to be told that it did not count...

This poem watched its country expand our “melting pot” to include all kinds of ingredients,
Then scrape the black off the bottom of the pan...
and send it back to Haiti on a raft

This poem has been pulled over for being DWI
(drafted with intelligence)

This poem was profiled at Hartsfield Airport,
And made to take off it's...blues.

This poem never cast its vote for any species of Bush,
It's not concerned with whom you marry,
Nor does it desire to trade the blood of young soldiers for oil, but look what it got...

No wonder,
This poem wants 2 b a revolutionary...

A Compulsion for Sound

2008-01-15T19:19:00.000-08:00

Forgive my banter, but I have been obsessed with music over the last few weeks. It started with me trying to make a list of the best albums of the year passed through some compulsive music purchases and continued with shared itunes music in a coffee shop and sonic mornings on my bike to school.

I just got a bunch of albums that are really cohesive and wonderful, and at the same time, 2007 pop. M Ward, Magnolia Electric Co., Andrew Bird, Beirut-- all amazing in their own merit and as far as complete albums go they flow. I just personally discovered M Ward and i cant seem to get enough of his peaceful voice. just had to get that out there, its been a long time since I've been so extremely moved by music.

Which is funny because up until now I have sort of refused to use music in my classroom in the place of poetry.

I will never forget one of my poetry professor's critiques of music lyrics as opposed to poetry. I do see faults in her argument (Hello Bob Dylan!), nevertheless it sticks with me. I probably will bring music in in the next few weeks, but I have definitely been stalling.
...

Today I fell asleep while reading a student paper (Dont worry, I wasn't teaching) but I still had a difficult time grading it. This student has never written anything for my class and suddenly he drops a 7 page murder mystery on my desk. It was intriguing but still lacking. Sometimes it is really hard to be an English teacher because I just run out of things to comment on. I ended up telling the student it could be more clear and better edited, which really was just a b.s. comment because I couldn't think of anything else.

Listening to M Ward Fuel For Fire

"These people are not from the Ground"

2008-01-13T12:46:00.000-08:00

Cowboys and Indians
This was an extremely interesting observation of Indigenous Americans and Americans from the perspective of an Irish visitor. The guy who wrote this is in the band "The Frames" and really brings up some interesting points about the state of the United States. Some of the points I think should really taken into consideration as election politics begin to take hold and (hopefully) some big change starts to grip us.

in case the link doesn't work, here is the url:
http://www.village.ie/World/North_America/Cowboys_and_Indians/

I can't believe I spelled "too" wrong

2008-01-07T19:44:00.000-08:00

I made a slight grammatical error on the last entry, but maybe no one noticed it. I have been reflecting on my last list and I realized that I had to add another album. Its Jenny Lewis of Rilo Kiley's album.

I spent Saturday evening sipping it in and found it to be an amazing album. It may have just been the time and place, but I loved it. Its has a twang with a bit of a sonic sound and some profound and moving lyrics. What more could you ask for really?
Here is a sample of it:

On Sunday morning I arose to sunny skies and decided to go for a run on West Cliff Drive. It was an incredible morning. The storm still seemed present yet the sun was breaking through the spaces in the clouds-- and the ocean was ferocious!

The waves were hyperboles in themselves and there was a spot on the path were the waves actually washed over the path and two lanes of the road, it was spectacular but I couldn't help but thinking what the homeowners thought when they see these waves suck away the land on the edge of their yard. Everything is temporary I guess.

Listening to Iron and Wine: Boy With A Coin

never too late for cheese

2008-01-04T22:38:00.000-08:00

After some new years chats i really wanted to put together some best of 07 lists for entertainment and hear what others came up with. I realize the cliches and lameness of best of lists but I'm just going to move past that.

The criteria for me was not that these were released in 2007 but that I expierienced them in 07:

Best Albums:
Radiohead In Rainbows-- beautifully mastered album all fits together and has the potential to really affect the listener
Iron and Wine- Our endless numbered days. I realize its a few years old but all I have to say is Naked as we Came
Wilco-- sky blue sky grows on you
Eddie Vedder-- Into the Wild soundtrack. Awesome new campfire songs and a great movie.
M Ward Post-war gets me into that creative feeling state.
Tom Brosseau-- What I meant to say is goodbye. soft. melodic. understated. and he played at my graduation in San Diego
The White Buffalo-- EP. Man I wish this guy had some more music out there

Books:
The Mysteries of Philadelphia-- great book fun story.. soon to be a movie
Dharma Punx-- I read it with my class probably 8 times. It was engrossing the whole way through though
Flight-- Sherman Alexie is my hero
Billy Collins-- the Trouble with Poetry. Accessible but insightful poetry
its sad but I cant think of any other books that moved me this year... maybe more will come

Movies:
Lars and the Real Girl--quiet subtle beautiful
Into the Wild-- of course
Paris Je t'aim-- great shorts but slightly disconnected
Once-- great film about an irish folksinger
Juno-- interesting hot Dialogue
Garden State-- Watched it again for the first time
Across the universe-Beatles musical--good times

I guess my main purpose of posting this was to start a discussion about what your favorites were or about what you thought of these films. I realize most people don't comment on my blog but all you have to do is click on speak your mind here and write a quick comment. Thanks

----------------
Now playing: Greg Brown - I Want My Country Back
via FoxyTunes

Blog on ice

2007-12-28T14:33:00.001-08:00

<-- Interesting postsecret card Its the holidays again, such a strange but beautiful time that we all look forward to and then are extremely happy to shrug off as the year continues. Wow, that sounds slightly depressing-- they are also a wonderful time of the year to spend with friends and family but they tend to bring up some difficult feelings in many people around family and death. I know my mom always mentions her son who died; around Christmas time-- even though it was 26 years ago. Then there's that religious problem in a spreading agnostic society it is difficult to understand what the meaning of the holiday really is. The general commercialism has a tendency to destroy anything sacred about the holiday, and the Christian connection can be a problem for some as well (like me). I am interested in learning more about the pagan roots of this time of year. Winter, trees and snow don't have to only symbolize the birth of a religion they can also symbolize the poignancy and clarity of wintertime in nature. On to lighter things--This Christmas, I made a holiday brew that I was pretty proud of. It was a dark ale with a spicy aftertaste. And it had a high alcohol content, the thing I was most proud of was my label. Here is the image I made:
If you had a chance to taste it please comment and let me know what you thought. Ilya-- sorry I forgot to send one home with Kristen.

Listening to KCSM Jazz

Eliot

2007-12-12T20:17:00.000-08:00

Any poet, if he is to survive beyond his 25th year, must alter; he must seek new literary influences; he will have different emotions to express.
T. S. Eliot

Guess I have some changing to do.

The Good Willies

2007-12-11T16:41:00.000-08:00

“Bearing witness to both the beauty and the pain of our world is a task I want to be a part of. As a writer, this is my work. By bearing witness, the story that is told can provide healing ground… If we choose to turn our backs we’ve walked away from what it means to be human.” –Terry Tempest Williams

I just taught a lesson today that opened with this quote and I was surprised at the response I received. I think it is an utterly true quote, but my students brought it to life with this great conversation about the polarity of life. We talked about how there everything is weighed both ways. Like the quote, beauty wouldn't exist without pain, but more than that; happiness is force that changes and moves up and down through depression and enlightenment and it is far from constant. It was interesting that the girl with the most insight is diagnosed as Bi-Polar.

There is a theory called dialectics that says all of life is a constant push and pull, and when one force overcomes the other, change occurs. I shared this concept with them and they were completely receptive. It was a discussion that gave me chills down my spine. the kind of conversation that I never expected, but was moved by.

These students never cease to amaze me.

Resist Sickness and Social networking!

2007-12-06T19:08:00.000-08:00

I guess I don't really have a lot to say. and I'm sure all you avid "lesson learned" blog readers are chomping at the bit.

I have quite the cold. It moved in slowly, making me think it was just a nasal thing, then, before I knew it, it attacked full force. Leaving me displaced in my apartment scowering our empty medicine cabinet for something to make the headache and nose-run to stop. I finally did find it. It was called Tylenol PM. It is quite the wonder drug, I thought maybe this sickness would resist its forces, but before I knew it, it was 6:30 and I was sawing logs in my old man chair.

Needless to say, after a good night's sleep I am feeling quite a bit better. I'm ready to attack one more day this week with my little buggers.

I met some other alternative school teachers today and they all seemed pretty amazing. Just the mention of the things they were doing in their classroom made me feel inadequate. And their staff goes out drinking on Thursdays! We don't do that at my school.

Anyhow, rain has finally made it to Santa Cruz, and Daren has also discovered this incredible social networking tool called Facebook that seems to suck his time away from blogging on a consistent basis. I have connected with some long lost friends along the way, which I guess is pretty cool.

I am teaching a class about activism and writing this term and I am seeing that there will indefinitely be some challenges, especially if I plan on attacking it the way I have been. But its so fun to stir up a little tension in the classroom.

We spent this week talking about oppression. It was very interesting. I also used this poem last week that brought up some really strong opinions:
A moment Of Silence Before I start this poem

I love poetry, but kids are so afraid of it that it can be difficult to teach. But I, gonna try!

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Now playing: Xavier Rudd - Choices
via FoxyTunes

Early snow, Late Post

2007-11-19T09:55:00.000-08:00

The weekend before last I had an amazing trip in the central sierras. My friend Tim, his girlfriend and I hiked up to about 10,000 feet and camped by a granite lake called emerald lake.

Hiking in, the weather was beautiful. But after the first nights downpour we were thinking we should get out while the gettings' good. I of course led the decision to stay longer and as we decided, the snow started coming down. That snow didn't really stop until 8 o'clock that night.

But when we woke up the sky was clear and brilliant with stars. The snow was thick on our tents and we were a little bit worried as to whether we would be able to find the trail in the morning.

Needless to say we awoke to clear blue skies and crunchy snow at every step. Not only was the snow crunchy but so were our boots, rain jackets, socks, sleeping bags just about everything that could freeze, did.

As we walked the 6 miles out of our campsite we had a renewed view of where we were and we were humbled by the granite peaks that surrounded us. We were on top of the world, even though it almost swallowed us.

Listening to: Townes Van Zandt

More pictures here at flikr

The Restless Generation

2007-11-02T18:33:00.000-07:00

I've been reading a lot of articles and critiques of today's youth (including 20-somethings) and one of the most interesting designations that I've read were those of "The Restless Generation." I think I've also read Complacent and Bored as designators for our generation. These critiques really seem to speak some truth to me.

Technology is booming, electronic communication is so easy and fast. It allows us to create and share so much, but I also believe that it shuts us down and takes away any sense of freedom we might have had without it. In its essence technology makes things easier. Tasks that used to require effort and work require almost nothing now. So now that these small yet meaningful tasks are taken away from us, what do we do? How do we measure our accomplishments, how do we dirty our hands?

Ours is a generation of exercise-nuts and alcohol and drug abusers, a complacent generation if you will, a people who cannot be content because of a painful disconnect with accomplishment. I believe that many of these replaced tasks give us too much and leave us agonizing over the strange place that it truly leaves us in.

I believe that one of the most important things in our lives in community and our connection to other people. We may not be aware of it but we depend so deeply on all of the people around us. We depend on a feeling of accomplishment as well; and technology has inadvertently taken those two dependencies away abruptly.

So where does it leave us? restless, bored and complacent. With so much energy that has to be extinguished in one way or another, through drug abuse, through exercise, through technology, through travel, through anything that is available to us, we don't know what to do.

I am not trying to paint a picture that doesn't include myself, I believe that I am an integral part of this mess, I'm just not sure how to deal with it.

I would love to hear others opinions on the matter.

listening to Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova, "Once" Soundtrack

In Rainbows

2007-10-21T20:58:00.001-07:00

I'm listening to the new Radiohead album, in Rainbows and I feel the deep need to create. This written form of creation requires the least amount of energy. They've released it online and are selling in on a sliding scale. You can pay as little or much as you want for it. I was listening to All Songs Considered and they debated as to whether it is an innovative, thoughtful move for Radiohead or just a gimmick to sell more albums.

I think that its innovative and thoughtful. Those who are able will pay more, those who arent won't. And those who have friends who buy it will get copies from them (that's me but I'm a starving teacher). On All Songs Considered, they said the album needs to be listened to with headphones, and I totally agree. In Rainbows reminds me of Radioheads' earlier album OK Computer in its ability to sweep the listener away through rhythm and sound. Its an amazing album that grows on you like a good album should.

I remember a few years ago, I went to visit a friend who was going to Columbia in New York and I went to the Whitney Museum of American Art. At the museum they had a sound room in which these electronic composers had put together "sonic landscapes," where they combined sounds into a transcendental continuum (I'm not even sure what that means). At first I thought it was weird, but as I sat and took it in, I had one of the most incredible "musical" experiences of my life. This album reminds me of that.

I was talking with Meghan last night about music and its strange connection to memories and time. Itunes is making music more accessible than ever before (except for when Mp3s were free). I have a huge library of music on my computer, but what I've realized is that certain songs exist in only one time and place, no matter how hard I try to collect them.

I tried to listen to Pearl Jam's "Why go Home," the other day and I realized that it will never sound the same as it did as I screamed it in the middle of the mosh pit at San Jose Spartan Stadium 11 years ago. I will always love Jeff Tweedy and Wilco, but i don't know that I will ever be as moved by Being There, as I was during my first trip to Europe after High School. I have flooded my collection with Greg Brown even though I am fully aware that he will probably never sound the same as he did during my first summer in Alaska (Two Little Feet).

This may be part of getting older or it may just be the reason why music holds such a powerful presence in many of our lives.

Listening to Radiohead: House of Cards

A Greener Me

2007-10-16T19:14:00.000-07:00

I signed up for this National Day of Action through environmental blog posts, but I messed up. Monday was a long day, and blogging wasn't the first thing on my mind at the end of the day. I also have been searching for green inspirations and haven't found many. Its raining out, I guess that's pretty green.

I just subscribed to Outside Magazine and have been somewhat disappointed with their layout and general ethic. The pages seem to be drenched in advertisements and their glossy pages don't seem to match their supposed green ideals. They write more about gear and clothing than they do about the great outdoors.

I just read an interesting article about this guy who drives a Ford F150 and he was saying that he wasn't sorry for driving that car. He lives on a farm and produces much of his own food and reads books instead of using his power hungry computer. It seemed to me like a plea for acceptance. Then again, he made some really good points: no matter how far us upper middle class white folk drive in our Prius' (or bike), as a culture we are still rabid consumers. We shop at Safeway and buy organic produce from the likes of New Zealand, in which the transport was probably much more harmful to the environment than the miracle grow on the next door neighbors tomato plants. We use technology and drain power and batteries daily at work and at home, we travel to exotic locales in planes that burn more fuel than 60 cars every 100 miles. i think that if we really want to make true environmental change we do need to re-think the way that things are being done on a very large scale but also on a smaller scale.

I think it is important though to remember the positive, every little bit helps.

I've been researching Buddhism with my students and one of the four noble truths is about longing for things and how that causes suffering. Killing off that desire is one of the hardest things in any of our lives, but it can have a great effect on the planet and in our personal lives.

environmental rant: fin

listening to: The Weepies

2007-10-10T20:12:00.000-07:00

I know I just posted, but I saw this and was inspired. It is an ad, but this project is so exciting and amazing to me.

Its like this big opening up of the cracks of reality. We are all fallible. We all make mistakes. We all have things that we hide. Reading through these secrets makes me feel more alive and more real.

I haven't yet bought one of this mans books but the art is visionary, and I plan to go see him at Bookshop Santa Cruz when he comes. I've been trying to brainstorm how to use this in English, I see it as a wonderful writing prompt but there must be more.

A Peaceful beginning

2007-10-10T17:59:00.000-07:00

My mornings and afternoons have slowly become the most essential and serene parts of my day. I just got a new bike and have been riding it to work every morning.

As I pedal through the dawn light I am able to mentally prepare myself for my day. Sometimes I go over the lesson plans for the day or for the next week.
Sometimes I go over how I can better resolve conflicts with students. Sometimes I just think about how cold it is in the morning.

I also have been listening to The interdependence project podcasts. They are these weekly lectures about 21st century Buddhism in the US. They have helped me deal with situations differently and have given me things to share with my students as we plow through Dharma Punx.

As my day comes to a close I ride my bike home and am able to pedal out any stress or confrontations that I had to deal with that day.

Its sort of a meditation that has really helped with my sanity and its been good for the environment.